Wednesday ORT: Cali Beepin', Ask Jack, Kia Elan, Talkers Run The Google Voodoo Down

All subscribers welcome

ridin’ dirty in a very clean country

I forgot to mention that this little Substack now has more than 3,000 subscribers! If I could get all of you to become paid members, I could quit my day job. Those of you who are currently free readers: as we used to say in the car-sales game, How can I earn your business today? Let me know in the comments. Now, on with the show.

No cap, I like it better than the original, which is just a fake Miata

From a reader:

This weekend I happened to go cruising with a Korean Kia Elan club, not Lotus Elan, but Kia Elan.  I didn't know it was as a thing or a badge-swapping partnership until I met one of the owners. They have Kia power plants, so I don't know if that counts as a badge-swap technically .

I didn't drive one, but I was able to frolic on some back roads with them, and they seemed damn competent for a 25+ year old car.  They also look good as far as I am concerned.

I imagine you knew about these already, but it isn't something you see every day.  Feel free to use any of this if can contribute to your Substack. 

Some of you will already know this story, but the “M100” Lotus Elan was a nice bookend to the Isuzu Impulse “with handling by Lotus”. Isuzu provided a 162-horse turbo-four mounted transversely up front. Lotus did the rest, although the some minor parts were sourced from the GM bin. It wasn’t fast, not even by the standards of the day, but it handled brilliantly. Looked cool, too. Especially in person, where the proportions were genuinely exciting. 3,855 were built. A second run of 800 were built for the UK only.

Then… the tooling was sold to Kia! God only knows why, or how. 1,056 additional Elans were built in South Korea with a semi-homegrown 151-horse 1.8 naturally aspirated engine and Kia taillights to replace the Alpine GTA lamps used by Lotus.

You know what would be awesome? Bringing the car back again, building it in the North American Hyundai/Kia plants, and maybe giving it the 201-horse Kia Forte GT engine, which would drop right in. Oh well. A man can dream.

Beep once if you’re being held hostage

From the We’re Not Making This Up Department: Starting in 2030, all cars sold in California will be required to provide a visual and auditory alert when exceeding the speed limit by more than 10mph. This bill is the product of Cali Representative Scott Weiner, who is mostly known for getting public nudity banned in San Francisco. (Apparently, it was legal and encouraged. Who knew?)

Early drafts of the bill were more aggressive — you wouldn’t have been able to exceed the speed limit by more than 10mph via software control. There was a considerable amount of pushback, so now we get the beep. It’s a start, anyway. As the fellow from Handgun Control, Inc. once gloated: “Brady has now passed and it is time to reveal the rest of the camel!”

Will the “California emissions” states follow along and require a beep as well? How long until the beep is Federal law? If you want some good news, here it is: it doesn’t apply to motorcycles, or cars not fitted with GPS.

Ask Jack: Durango 392, or something lame?

Matthew writes to say:

My wife was struck the Saturday before last, in our 2015 CX-5.  The accident wasn't bad, but the car that hit her missed the actual bumper and got into the unibody on the right rear corner, so with the age of the car it's a write off.  I thought I'd reach out to the ACF community to get some feedback on our candidates.  Our main requirements are:  

• 3 rows of seating.  The actual number of passengers isn't that important (6, 7, or 8,) we just want to be able to throw a couple of our kid's friends in the back if necessary. 

• Decent amount of space for stuff (my daughter's figure skating wheelie bag, my son's baseball/fencing stuff, reasonable loads of items from Home Depot etc.)  Since we're only looking at 3 row vehicles this is pretty much covered. 

• Quiet and comfortable.  This was our main complaint with the CX-5.  It was REALLY noisy on the road and felt cramped in some situations.  

• 2^nd row HVAC with separate controls (3rd row controls is a bonus.)   We didn't think of that when we bought the CX-5, but it's been a constant annoyance knowing that my kids are uncomfortable in the back.  Also, the HVAC in the CX-5 sucked donkey balls... Seriously, I had to crank it full on to get hot or cold in a reasonable amount of time (we didn't get the dual zone auto HVAC in the CX-5 which was a mistake.)  

• Heated and cooled seats in the front (second and third row is a bonus.)  Most of the trim levels we're looking at have this for the driver, passenger, and second row at least.  

We're in Southern Ontario and I work for an automotive supplier, so I have discounts with Stellantis (preferred pricing is invoice+$25, and factory discounts or offers like 0% financing or $4000 cash are still available,) Ford (X-plan is invoice-holdback+4%, with incentives on top of that,) and GM (I haven't looked at their plan.)  I'll say that our budget is $65k CAD and all of the options (except #2) are around there.  So, onto the candidates in no particular order:  

1. 2024 Dodge Durango GT (V6 engine)

   • Pros: We've driven this as a rental before so we're familiar with it, and like it; definitely fulfils our needs; probably the most mature design (in terms of having all the bugs worked out); physical controls for HVAC, seat heat/cool, and you can shut the screen off with a simple button; physical foot operated parking brake (I'd prefer a hand lever e-brake, but good luck with that these days); Will likely work out to be the cheapest of all the ones we're looking at.    

   • Cons: The older design doesn't feel as fresh or new as the others we're looking at; It's the most claustrophobic feeling one; I don't think visibility is a problem in it, but you feel more enclosed, and the A-pillars are much more intrusive. 

2. 2024 Dodge Durango SRT 392

   • Pros: It's the 392 (someone please give me permission to buy this.)

   • Cons: It's the 392 (someone please talk me out of the financial ruin this will bring to my family.) 

3. 2025 Ford Explorer ST

   • Pros: This had the "sportiest" drive in terms of steering feel, acceleration (I didn't drive it back-to-back, but it seemed on par with the 392 Durango,) and suspension/handling (I really liked how it drove); My wife and I both think this is the best looking one; fairly well established vehicle so there shouldn't be too many issues popping up; If we spec it out right we'll look like a cop, so people will stay the F away from us on the highway.  

   • Cons: EVERYTHING is controlled through the damn screen in the middle, and it is more intrusive in your view than the other cars we're looking at; The screen interface is all though the touch screen, and it is the fiddliest of all of them; My wife didn't like it all that much (she also didn't hate it.)  

4. 2024/25 Kia Telluride (SX or X-Line)

   • Pros: My wife liked this one the most; The most comfortable of the ones we're looking at; There is a lot of thought in the design and layout of all aspects of the car; physical controls for HVAC & seat heat/cool; Side view camera displays the blind spot in the gauge cluster when you signal; The most open feeling one with phenomenal forward visibility (I haven't seen A-pillars this thin and upright since the mid '90s.)

   • Cons: No supplier discount on this one for me (it could still end up cheaper than the Ford, but probably not the V6 Durango); Power was the least of the options we're looking at (it was absolutely adequate for our needs though); the 3^rd row seating felt the least comfortable for me (really not the most important issue.) 

5. 2024 Mazda CX-90 Mild Hybrid

   • Pros: Nicest looking of the lot, with the nicest interior (seriously, the thing is gorgeous inside and out); physical controls for the HVAC and seat heat/cool; the screen interface is easily accessible through the rotary dial, and touch screen and all the menus and controls are sensibly laid out in it; booster seat install is extremely easy on the second row (the latches have separate plastic covers you can remove so you don't have to shove the latches between seat cushions); Drive and power were both good; twin turbo straight six with a RWD/AWD layout to fulfill my JDM Wagan Midnight fantasies; My son's favourite.    

   • Cons: By far the most expensive with the exception of the 392 Durango (also no supplier discount); 3^rd row access was the most difficult due to the center console in the 2^nd row; All of the Mazda SUVs look identical (I can't tell without looking at the badge if it's a CX-50, 70, or 90); it would have been better if Mazda just nutted up and made it a station wagon (the extra height is useless in this.)  

Some vehicles we've considered but eliminated:  

• GMC Acadia/Chevy Traverse: Only available with the 2.5 l turbo 4 in a 4800 lb+ vehicle. 

• Chrysler Pacifica/Grand Caravan: We don't really need a van, and we didn't love them when we test drove them.  

• Honda Pilot: Too expensive with no benefit over anything else we're looking at.  

• Toyota Grand Highlander: We like the hybrid option, but they are under recall right now so we can't get one soon enough after we get the insurance payout.  

• Nissan Pathfinder: 2^nd row is bench only. 

• Any full EV: My daughter is into competitive figure skating, so we need to be all over Southern Ontario in the winter, and don't need the extra hassle of having to plan the trips around chargers.  

• Any PHEV: I'm not interested in putting a home charger in, and if you don't do that, you're just wasting gas hauling around 900 lb of dead battery.  

So that's what we're looking at, and I value any insight anyone has into these, or any other suggestions for cars you have that we didn't consider.  

The way I see it, there are only two possible choices here.

Choice A: If you want to make your wife happy, get the Telluride.

Choice B: If you want to make yourself happy, get the Durango 392.

The Explorer isn’t worth your consideration, being slower/lamer than the Durango but also not appealing to your spouse. The Durango GT would be a nice truck, and very fit for purpose, but wouldn’t you really rather have the 392? Of course you would. It’s a joy to drive, to own, to sit in, to know that it exists.

Here’s what you perhaps have not considered: The 392 will cost more up front, but it will ALWAYS be worth real money to someone. It will have an enthusiastic second owner who wants to pay you what it’s worth, in person. And they aren’t gonna make too many more of them. The others will all have to be shuffled off to the trade-in dealer or CarMax, at auction-price levels. So the 392, which has gotten pretty expensive since it was introduced (the mid-line Plus now costs more than the 2022 Durango Hellcat!) might not be the most expensive option in the long run.

Get the 392. I have a 392. I love my 392. You’ll need Pennzoil Ultra Platinum to keep the warranty going. It’s cheap.

I’m not here… this isn’t happening

Did you watch the debate? I will confess that I did not — had to work, unfortunately. And I also had to get a simply fabulous filet at a hibachi restaurant in Columbus. Really, it was the best hibachi I’ve had in a while, and I have been know to get hibachi twenty times in a month.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that my Team Blue friends assigned the “win” to Harris, and my Team Red friends assigned it to Trump. Feel free to discuss that below, with respect and friendship top of mind, but that’s not what I want to look at right now.

Matt Taibbi had an interesting summary — he’s not pro-Harris at the moment, as you might know, but again that’s not the point, this is the point:

As one of the last relics of the “Boys on the Bus” era I don’t recall campaign messaging being this crude, or politicians, press, and audience acting so overtly as a chorus. I do remember reporters catching themes from each another like colds. If you dug you’d sometimes find stories originated with an aide whispering in the ear of someone like Mark Halperin (the “Fred Thompson is lazy” tales come to mind). But the DNC or RNC just backing up to the commentariat, dumping loads of phrases, and seeing them instantly converted to conventional wisdom, that’s new. Isn’t it? I feel reduced to writing these things down in an effort to keep from going crazy.

I was curious about the “Talkers’ Toplines” handout, so I decided to Google it. Now, this is sent across the nation to thousands of people on a frequent basis, but:

That’s it. Those are all the results. If you look at what amounts to the “DNC Jira”, you’ll see that “Talkers’ Toplines” is a real thing, it’s distributed frequently, and it explicitly instructs people what to say. But it simply doesn’t exist on Google. You can’t tell me that Google isn’t indexing the pages. They’re clearly “reading” the Democrats Abroad Confluence site where the toplines are published, among other places — but, gosh darn it, that spidering just doesn’t seem to make it to the search results!

Note, as well, that the DNC doesn’t make these documents available via any place that is easily discernible. There’s a phone app, called REACH, but I’m not sure how you would become eligible for “Talkers’ Toplines” via the app.

Presumably there’s an RNC equivalent to this; anybody know what it is? The memos from the NRSC, which aren’t quite the same thing, are widely and broadly published. The DNC stuff is memory-holed by Google with what feels like extreme and deliberate prejudice. The alternative search engines — Brave and DuckDuckGo — aren’t much better.

What does it mean when the front page of your news sources is clearly written via a distributed newsletter that isn’t archived, isn’t publicly known or discussed, and has basically zero historical visibility? I’m not sure — but I doubt it’s good. My readers from Team Blue are highly encouraged… nah, scratch that, implored… to offer some insight on this.