Review: 2024 GMC Terrain SLT AWD

This is the new generation of Olds

and they all look just the same

You can learn a lot about America and its people by thoroughly considering this fact: for a couple of years during the Carter Administration, the Oldsmobile Cutlass was the best-selling car out there, period, point blank. Furthermore, the majority of Cutlass sales were two-door models, with most of those being the Landau-topped Supreme or Salon variants.

Unless you were savvy enough to order the 403-cubic-inch Olds-built engine that, in the reckless hands of my mother, could fire a 1977 Cutlass Supreme at worrisome speeds towards intersections, garage doors, and the brick exterior wall of St. Agatha School in Upper Arlington, Ohio, the midsizer Oldsmobile had nothing to recommend itself over its cheaper Chevrolet and Pontiac siblings. In turn, it was no worse than the more expensive Buick Regal, which it also outsold. So why was it the best-selling car in America? I think it boils down to being a little more prestigious than a Chevy for just a little bit more money. The prestige was illusory, being entirely based on an artificial GM hierarchy — but everybody knew that the Cutlass cost more than a Monte Carlo, when similarly equipped, and that was a message that people liked sending, so when it came time to buy a family car they stumped up and got the Olds. Why didn’t they go all the way to the Buick? Your guess is as good as mine.

Twenty-five years later, Oldsmobile was a dead brand. There was no longer any prestige associated with buying GM cars, so the idea of paying more to get the “better” nameplate didn’t resonate with anyone. The funny thing is that by the year 2000, Oldsmobiles were genuinely better than their platform mates. The Alero, Intrigue, and Aurora were good cars. Nobody cared. The people who mattered were buying Hondas and Toyotas, which sent the right societal message while also being better to drive and own.

“i could never live in a generic place like that,” the manhattan micro-apartment bugman said, as he sipped his starbucks

Given world enough and time, however, every idea both bad and good will eventually reappear. Meet the GMC Terrain SLT, the Cutlass Supreme of 2024. It’s a Chevy Equinox with a slightly “better” brand on the nose. Why is GMC “better”? Nobody really knows. The division had some unique engines back in the day, including an 11.5-liter V-12, but in living memory GMC has primarily existed as a way for rural Buick dealers to sell trucks that were nut-and-bolt identical to Chevrolets.

Despite this lack of uniquity, GMC demographics have been pretty good for a while. Their Yukon Denali boasts a buyer base that is richer, whiter, and better-educated than that of the Cadillac Escalade. The resulting prestige trickles all the way down to this modestly-sized five-seat crossover. Why buy a Terrain over an Equinox? Because you think you’re better than the average Chevrolet customer, and you’re willing to throw a few bucks towards proving it. The more things change…

Even before COVID-19 and the resulting supply crunch, Terrains were in short supply at dealerships. And why not? The CR-V segment meets the needs of most modern families without excess capability or cost, and the Terrain is priced to play with the Japanese. This all-wheel-drive SLT (pronounced slut) with no options rings the register for a total of $35,395. This is within $1500 of the RAV4 XLE, like the one I drove late last year. How does it compare to the market leader from Toyota?

had to go all the way to texas so i could drive an ohio plate car

We have to start by noting the completely different philosophy in powertrains. The RAV4 offers an old-school naturally-aspirated 2.5-liter paint-shaker coupled to an eight-speed manual. (edit: I wish. Its a torque converter auto.)The Terrain has a turbo 1.5-liter and a nine-speed automatic. On paper the Toyota is superior by 28 horsepower — but in practice, the Terrain feels like a Hayabusa compared to the RAV4. It’s always in the right gear. It’s always making boost. Getting up to 80mph is no trick, even at half-throttle. The powertrain is so competent that you can almost forgive the massively stupid GMC push/pull transmission selector buttons.

Once up to speed, the SLuT is quiet, comfortable, and stable. It feels whole generations newer than the RAV4. Braking is more than adequate, and body roll is reasonable. Most people won’t need any more dynamic ability than this. Toyota should be embarrassed by the gap in over-the-road comfort and competence.

a chicken in every pot, a shitter in every yard

The news isn’t any better for RAV4 fans once you get inside. Some details are overly fussy, but the Terrain’s interior is positively Audi-esque compared to the Playskool Toyota. The steering wheel feels nicer and offers more control capability. Climate control is quiet but effective. The stereo won’t win any contests, unless the contest is with a RAV4, in which case it will win a contest. The leather is better than Toyota’s or Honda’s, which isn’t saying much but imagine telling that to a GMC shopper of 1995 and having him not laugh in response.

This picture shows you the hard plastics that aren’t evident in the dashboard shot but it also displays a neat and completely sweated detail — a knob that can keep you from bashing your automatic tailgate in a low garage. This sort of thoughtfulness was standard equipment on the 1977 Accord and it’s common in Ford trucks since about 1997, but it’s about as “nontypical-for-GM-leadership” as making it through a whole lap of the Belle Isle GP course without crashing the pace car.

Surely many Terrains will see at least part-time Uber duty, what with our glorious economic transition and all, so I’m pleased to report that rear-seat room is very good, with a comfortable albeit non-adjustable rear seat angle and windows that go all the way down in the same way that the rear windows of a 1979 Cutlass didn’t go down at all. This is a comfortable and pleasant way for a quartet of super-sized Americans to travel. For reasons I’ll discuss another time, I found myself sitting in a 1985 LTD on the same day that I was driving this Terrain. The Fox-based LTD, mind you. It doesn’t have anything like this kind of room for four. Give credit where it’s due.

The Terrain so comprehensively bests the RAV4 that I can’t see how you could drive both and still consider a Toyota… except. As capable as the tiny turbo four might be, would you trust it to cover even half of the RAV4’s expected service life? I’d breathe a sigh of relief if I got 100k out of it, while any RAV4 that couldn’t reach 300k without significant servicing would be a lemon of rare proportions. The same is true for all the blue-backlit buttons and chrome-ringed selectors on the dashboard. Toyota’s dopey Playskool controls will be entirely usable when these are worn out and washed out. It’s not really a car for serious people, not in the sense of “being serious about having a reliable car with low cost of operations.” How much of this fancy SLuTchrome will be peeling in five years?

There’s also the inconvenient fact that the Terrain is built in Mexico. This doesn’t sit right with me. GM’s decision to hoover up a cubic mile of taxpayer cash then move as much production as possible outside the States feels to me like watching a junkie cousin use welfare money for crack. You want to call up Mary Barra and channel Jerry Orbach’s character from Dirty Dancing when he find out that Baby paid for some townie broad’s amateur abortion.

Even if we can set aside these inconvenient considerations of durability and patriotism, there’s the Chevrolet Equinox to consider. Choosing the store-brand model of the Terrain gets you a real shift lever instead of that stupid shift panel that not even Blake Z. Rong could finger with any consistent success, plus you get a more upscale-looking central display. And while both the ‘Nox and the ‘Rain suffer from severe atrophy of the rear cargo window, the Chevy doesn’t look as goofy from most angles. This is the greatest sin; after all, the Cutlass was always styled better than the Monte Carlo, wasn’t it?

As a three-year lease, the GMC makes a better choice than the Toyota, and your spouse will likely prefer the social message of a Terrain over than of an Equinox. In the long run, however, it’s hard to argue for the modern Crossover Cutlass. Which is just fine with General Motors. They’d rather sell you a taxpayer-subsidized EV anyway. But there’s something sad about a world in which people no longer take the mainline family offerings from GM seriously. Even if they’re right to feel that way. I wouldn’t bet against there being a handful of 1977 Cutlasses on the road when the last of these modern Terrains meets the crusher. This might be the new generation of Olds, but it won’t have the same staying power. You can learn a lot about America from General Motors — but America has learned a lot about GM, too.

2024 GMC Terrain SLT AWD

Price: $35,395

Pros: Drives great in every way that matters. Quiet and comfortable for two couples.

Cons: Built in Mexico and powered by something with the likely durability of gas station toilet paper.

Summary: A stylish and upscale entry in a market that doesn’t need one.