144 Comments

Too bad the dream of rural ownership is evaporating quicker than Lake Mead. I became "House Rich" off a wisely timed home purchase, but the market hasn't stayed cheap out in the boonies - in fact, I'd be extremely poor even if I traded straight across for a rural property, with no cash left over to build a lean-to - let alone a garage big enough for my dreams.

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I am approximately 17 years ahead of you, Jack. We have 10 acres in the country outside Portlandia, and I had to learn to be a country mouse with the help of my neighbors, a few books, and YouTube. Building fences was my biggest wake up moment. I realized that the way I was doing it was not the best way, but I had to get it done.

Also, piling on that you need a tractor my man.

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Phillips is not just one of the best auto journalists extant, but one of the best writers. Period. End of story. He once wrote a story about getting stuck in mud and having to use some straps or something, I don't really remember. But it rivalled anything from a Dave Barry. An Erma Bombeck. In a car magazine. Let's face it, we were spoiled.

Fuck everyone else, it's your family's opinion that matters. When you're no longer ambulatory, they're the ones that you'll hope considered you outstanding in your chosen household.

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Phillips' writing was, for a teenaged me, one of the best parts of getting C&D in the mailbox every month. The two pieces of his that stick in my mind were the review of the Cadillac Escalade EXT, and the inaugural "Battle of the Beaters" comparo.

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ya did good. Stop talking about brand names and do this 20 times a day, and you'll be where you need to be. On the other hand, the juxtaposition of brand names with "it matters not" is pretty funny.

Hard to believe the Bobcat driver would've been too bothered, if you had left the problems in place, and had you mentioned it beforehand. Shhe0-it, those Bobcats are tough. They're from Gwinner, ND, ya know, and they've seen things before.

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You're probably right but I didn't want to be the source of any hassle.

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I didn't recognize “Yoder&Frey cap” and figured, since it was you writing, that Yoder & Frey was some kind of high end men's clothing brand till I found out that's a farm machinery auction company. If I was editing this, I would have changed it to "Yoder&Frey seed cap". If it's got the name of some kind of seed, tractor, or other agriculture related brand, it's not a baseball cap, even if it's a baseball cap. Sort of like how a mesh-back baseball cap with a plastic snap back is called a trucker's cap, even if it's a baseball cap.

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"Seed cap" sounds like a euphemism for a prophylactic.

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The English called them French Letters, the French called them Capotes Anglaises - English Hoods. They both thought the other was having more fun.

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First time I’ve laughed out loud all day. I’ve pulled hundreds of utility pole butts from the ground. Sometimes even the 200,00.00 line truck won’t get it done.

I was having visions of the scene in Shane where the two guys won’t give in until they get the stump out of the ground. Well done!

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That reminds me of the time I pulled a stump out of the yard with my wife's Buick Rendezvous. The 3400 growled, the front wheels spun uselessly, the 15-foot nylon tow strap hummed and quivered under tension like a bass guitar string. For a moment I thought I was beaten, then the Stabilitrak module locked up and the rear Goodyear TripleTreds found traction and joined the battle. The stump emerged from the pit as the soil heaved and relinquished its hold in defeat, like the Democratic Party giving up the white organized-labor voting bloc...

But seriously folks, this is what keeps me reading:

"In a world where anybody can just buy a plot of land, I’m striving to be worthy of mine, by a self-selected and arbitrary set of rules. They include: Do the work myself, if I can learn how. Be a good steward. Know my neighbors and my community, then make a positive impact if possible. Serve as a good example to my son."

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Comment of the day. God bless the modified U-body!

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Pulling things apart can feel rewarding but building it back up again is the real challenge. Anyone who started a "frame off" restoration learns that the hard way.

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Couldn't agree more. Just like "deconstruction" felt like real scholarship but was really just a way to tear older scholars down.

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“Sir Isaac Newton, renowned inventor of the milled-edge coin and the catflap!"

"The what?" said Richard.

"The catflap! A device of the utmost cunning, perspicuity and invention. It is a door within a door, you see, a ..."

"Yes," said Richard, "there was also the small matter of gravity."

"Gravity," said Dirk with a slightly dismissed shrug, "yes, there was that as well, I suppose. Though that, of course, was merely a discovery. It was there to be discovered." ... "You see?" he said dropping his cigarette butt, "They even keep it on at weekends. Someone was bound to notice sooner or later. But the catflap ... ah, there is a very different matter. Invention, pure creative invention. It is a door within a door, you see.”

― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

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Why can't i Up vote this comment ?!!! .

-Nate

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I've noticed that. I thought maybe it was a browser error but perhaps it is because I am over using the like button as the discourse is elevated beyond what the bots are allowing.

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It's a Substack Javascript programming issue. I have to reload the page if I want to "like" more than three posts in one sitting.

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So I was half correct.

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I got to know Philips some over the past few years, and can state definitively that he is a good man with a big heart. He also seems a private man, and perhaps not one to suffer fools gladly. But in my dealings with him, and what I’ve come to know of him, he is certainly a man of good character.

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Which would perhaps explain why he wasn't well liked in this business.

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I feel the pain. I'm also a bit worried that when my dad goes over that proverbial bridge, I'll have to do the same thing(s) with the family home. To say he likes overkill would be an understatement. The walkways in the back garden are concrete sleepers. I believe there are at least a few dozen in the foundation of the 'shed' too, that has a high-school rescue lathe, various welders, grinders and the lot in it. The lean-to could probably be used to hoist an engine out of a car. I know the rafters in the shed do.

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I live out in the country these days, near my parents, and part of my weekends are spent helping them renovate their property. Right now, we're in the demolition stage - tearing remarkably-poorly-installed drywall and moldy insulation out of a board-and-batten barn - probably made from whatever scrap was leftover after constructing the house - put up by guys who had no concept of craftsmanship. Pure subsistence-farmer's-mindset nonsense: We Ain't Got No Money But We Gotta Keep The Rain Off The Chickens.

But the thing is that old habits die really hard. Even though the county dump here takes ANYTHING, I'm a car nut from the nice suburbs who's been building vehicles for decades. I always feel like a ne'er-do-well who's gotta get in, dump whatever toxic/metal/oversized/whatever I need to be rid of and get out before anybody sees me.

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I had to read the coop demolition section out loud to my wife, we both had a laugh, though not at you. I spent days trying to get an apple tree root out of my back yard after the stump was ground down. Even the mighty reciprocating saw and other tools couldn't get the job done, so we just left it.

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Jack,

As a product of the suburbs who found himself owning several acres of woods.... There is a lot to learn about living in more rural areas. The number one thing: you really would benefit from owning a proper tractor, with a loader. Perhaps a backhoe.

Also, if you have any trees: get a chainsaw. Something smallish, echo or Stihl.

This from someone who counts a Land Rover as a truck and recently ran a chainsaw using wayfarers as "safety" glasses

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a good quality electric chain saw and a generator is a lot cheaper and easier to maintain than a gas powered chainsaw. I made the switch about 20 years ago and don't regret it. The electric one is also a heck of a lot lighter.

The generator gets used for a lot of other things, but if I gotta go someplace to far from an outlet, it's still easier to deal with than a gas powered chainsaw.

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We’ve moved to Milwaukee battery chainsaws at work and this hardcore skeptic is now a convert. For anything other than professional tree work or firewood production it it the cat’s ass. Just keep a spare battery.

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Trying to wrap my mind around the idea that a $700-1400 4 stroke generator + a $200 consumer grade electric chainsaw is a better proposition than a $350 professional 2 stroke chainsaw.

The entirety of maintenance on a chainsaw is sharpen chain+ check bar oil + tension chain. All of these apply to an electric saw. Add a generator and you go from adding 50:1 to doing an oil change

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Ethanol free gasoline saves a lot of trouble with carburetor issues on small 2 strokes.

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Not just small 2 strokes, my 90s era Seadoo needs "rec" gas also. Destroys carbs, fuel lines, etc. Hell, I've had stabil treated standard E10 gasoline ruin a carb on a 2 year old ariens snowblower last year.

On the chainsaw topic, used an Ego battery saw to chop up an apple tree that had fallen over the drive at the family homestead this summer. Cut like butter, plenty of power vs any sub $400 gas saw. My FIL similarly switched over to Stihl battery saws (and trimmers and blowers) on his 200 acre horse farm. He keeps the gas for heavy lifting cutting firewood to fuel the stove during winter but the battery saws do 95% of the work now.

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I had issues with a 4 stroke outboard until I made sure to run the bowls dry after each and every use. It now starts and runs great on E10 which is good since even the marina stopped selling E-zero. The snowblower gets it's tank and bowl drained at season end. Stabilizers never helped.

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I learned all that the hard way. Modern gas just doesn’t work well in infrequently used gear, like snowblowers.

I don’t know if it’s emissions regs, but I also find modern small engined stuff just doesn’t run as well as it’s ancestors did.

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Every gas powered chainsaw has to be rebuilt every few years, (or every year if you use it enough) two cycle motors need the carbs rebuilt often. That's the hard part. And started them can also be a pain in the butt.

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Jeez man you for real? What sort of chain saws are you using and what are you filling them up with?

IMO you can't beat a nice good sized Stihl or (pick your brand).

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a good electric chainsaw is under $100. I have a portable honda generator (that I use for quite a few things other than the chainsaw - like for when the power goes out in a storm). But you can get a fairly good generator that will power it for a lot less than you realize.

And of course extension cords are even cheaper.

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Land Rovers are absolutely trucks, spiritually and literally

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They were, anyway. The steel frame and aluminum body ones behaved and were built like trucks. My stick shift 1997 Disco was especially trucky and I wish I could get a new one today.

Today's Rovers are lifted cars with some remarkable off-road-oriented engineering. But I wouldn't want to abuse them. I once put twenty eight bags of cat litter in my 2002 disco 4.6. 1400 pounds behind the back seat. Wasn't a problem.

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I moved a similar mass of wood flooring in my wife’s 2014 Pathfinder, i.e., a sedan on stilts. One of the most frightening things I’ve ever done in a car. I still don’t know how I didn’t burn up the CVT. Whatever the “u” stands for in CUV, it’s not utility--useless feels more accurate.

I’m going to put a trailer hitch on next year so we can take of some hauling tasks on our land. Hopefully the car market crashes before the CVT does. She wants a truck anyway and she’s open to 3/4 ton too.

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I'm not sure how the L405 (2013-22) range rovers would handle real work, but I think you can expect the same sort of service out of an LR3, LR4, or L322 range Rover. Ditto the first gen RRS which shares underpinnings with the lr3.

I routinely put ~1500lb loads

of building or landscaping materials in the back of my LR3 (disco 3). It doesn't really notice, and air suspension makes loading and unloading easy.

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The price of LR3s and LR4s on the used market supports this -- I declined to buy an LR3 new as I thought it was just too cavernous inside, compared to the Discovery and P38 Range Rover which felt Jaguar XJ6-ish. But yeah they are serious vehicles.

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And serious piles. I very recently spent some time in an LR3 belonging to a close friend and I was appalled at the general condition of the materials, squeaks and rattles, air suspension gyrations. And would not start a couple of mornings with the every dash warning light illuminated. I've very gland we didn't buy an LR3 to replace the aging Disco IIs.

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Sounds like your friend hasnt cared for it .

It's not a Land Cruiser by any means, but I'd rate the maintenance requirements on par with a BMW or similar.

My 07 is around 137k miles. The only dash light is an intermittent P0420 code I don't feel like replacing a catalyst to deal with. There's an occasional rattle from the sunroof on dirt roads.

Every car is a pile at some point if you don't care for it.

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I've been happy with my Stihl chainsaw so far, happy enough that when I could no longer change the filament on the Ryobi trimmer I had, I replaced it with a Stihl.

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Very good points.

Not be a Debbie Downer, but I will add that both a tractor and a chainsaw can be deadly. Take the time to learn safe usage of both. I can tell several stories of folks who experienced the results in the last few months.

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Yeah I barely feel competent to operate a sawzall much less a chainsaw. I'd approach that like an uncaged tiger.

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It's a tool that merits considerable respect.

EquipmentJunkies suggestion about a local neighbor helping teach stuff is a good one. If you're up in metro Detroit and would like some tips on how to derp with a chainsaw, let me know.

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Thank you sir!

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That's the correct attitude Jack ! .

I have and use a chainsaw but I'll _NEVER_ trust the damn thing .

-Nate

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A local neighbor could be an excellent mentor...but choose wisely. A few hours of volunteer labor with a patient mentor could yield some excellent life skills.

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Good friend is an OSHA inspector. He had a call where a guy took a shield off of a chipper. He did not go thought it like Fargo but the scene looked the same nonetheless.

edit-through, not thought, wtf?

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It was PTSD inducing sad for my friend and the other responders. The homeowner was beside himself. Don't be that guy. Think about what your corpse is going to look like and who is going to find it.

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Also, when you buy the chainsaw, go to youtube and learn how to adjust the carburetor so the saw will run properly.

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A pole saw is handy as well, and I'm a long way from truly rural.

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I'm definitely an amateur logger but I would recommend a biggish chainsaw and all the safety gear.

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18“ takes care of most cleanup work without being a pain to manage. Definitely need something bigger available if you never want to call the pros.

I'm happy with a battery powered saw, but I have multiple batteries to swap and I'm never using it far from power (if power is still on).

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I have a 50cc echo with an 18" bar. That thing absolutely rips through oak, hickory, etc and is great to have around.

For most day to day chainsaw use, the 30cc saw with a 14" bar is my go to simply because it's lighter.

Re chaps: I have a set of kevlar chaps, wore them religiously the first few years I used a chainsaw. They spend a lot of time on the shelf these days.

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I have a 20" Husky and I've never wished it was smaller.

I do wear chaps. No complaints

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I've read that chaps aren't much help with the battery powered saws because the electric motors have too much torque for the kevlar fibers to stop it before you hurt yourself. Can't speak from experience though - I don't plan to test this.

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Kevlar chaps?

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John Deere 1025R with a front loader and backhoe. Also, get a pallet attachment. You might want something a bit larger, but I'm happy with mine. I also have an M60D belly mower for it, which cuts well but is a bear to install. Would not recommend that. I'd love to have the front grapple attachment, and auger. Maybe someday. My setup cost $25K in 2015, and buying it meant I didn't get to own a "play car", but it was money well spent.

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I agree with your tractor sentiments. I think that Jack is a Deere 2000-series candidate. Pallet forks are insanely handy. A 4-in-1 bucket will pluck fence posts out of the ground so fast, it's almost sinful.

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Agreed, that a 2000-series would probably be better. Also, a "thumb" for the backhoe: is an insanely useful accessory. I've used mine for all kinds of things. https://www.bxpanded.com/all-bh-accessories

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I almost chimed in with this. 2025r is really the sweet spot, or a pre emissions 2032r or 2720.

Buddy with 3 acres bought a 1025. He regrets that it's a bit too light for some tasks, but also a bit big for mowing easily. Also for the cost of a mid mount deck for a CUT, you can buy a residential zero turn.

I'm on 2.5 acres and was planning on a 2025 sized machine to do tractor tasks and a zero turn for mowing. It's very much an area where some degree of specialization makes sense.

In any case, tractor with a loader would make quick work of fence posts.

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I talked my college roommate into a 2520 a few years ago and convinced him on the pallet forks. He really likes it. I think that Jack would also be an ideal candidate for the 2-series. A 3-point finishing mower would be fine for his needs. I used one for years and found it handy for mowing under trees.

My dad bellyaches about our 4052R being too big to use around his place. He's right and I would prefer him using something smaller at age 85 anyway. (I'd rather not pay for broken cab glass) I almost have him convinced that a 2025R would be ideal.

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Isn't the 2025R just a Yanmar in disguise? I only mention this because I have a really competent Yanmar dealer in the area.

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I need to research that specifically, but historically there was very little shared between comparable Deere & Yanmar tractors.

Yanmar is relatively new to the US market again after leaving in the late-‘80s. I’m not saying that is bad, it is just reality.

Deere’s advantage is long-term parts availability, a strong dealer network, and excellent resale value.

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Deere has used yanmar engines for ages, but the current line of Deere CUTs are, to the best of my knowledge, designed and built in house in GA. I don't know how yanmars tractors are, but their engines are impressively durable.

I would second equipmentjunkie on parts availability. I have very little trouble finding parts for my Deere 322, which was built in 1988.

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Phillips wrote for C/D seemingly forever, so he must’ve been tolerable enough since they kept him on for so long. I’ll admit his was a column that I often did not read. I was more of a Bedard man myself.

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Same here. I moved heaven and earth to get Bedard on the site but never thought about anyone else from that era.

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I ran into Bedard, Csere, and Don Sherman as they were taking in the Woodward Dream Show. Bedard was getting some kind of lifetime achievement award. Too bad I didn't have an old copy of the magazine or my autograph bag for them to sign.

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Sherman Is also a guy worth having. Hell of a great guy to talk to. As PC as an old drill sergeant, and about as fearful of sharing his opinions. How he’s still allowed to get anything published nowadays keeps me scratching my head.

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I hired him as often as I could at the insurance company but there was little interest in getting his work over on the magazine, possibly for those reasons. Much more love for Brett Berk and Elena Scherr and other people who shouldn't be allowed outside.

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That’s just sad. There have few better technical writers in the automotive journalism world. I can’t imagine why I wouldn’t want him contributing regularly if I was running things. Except, of course, for the fact that he isn’t built for the modern world.

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Conversely, once Bedard and Yates were gone, his was the only column I ever bothered to read.

His "review" of the Cadillac Escalade EXT (the badge-engineered Avalanche) that was a total goof-off of bizarre similes and "Ed" having to constantly intervene was one of only a handful of C/D articles that stands out in the last 20 years.

I know nothing about the guy, but I'd love to know who those four two-faced people were. I generally assume that people like that are badmouthing me behind my back, as well.

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I hope you've mailed the license fee check to (redacted) University of Ohio.

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My father in law has a little over 100 acres of hunting land that backs up to a national forest, about 350 miles away from us. He had the land selectively logged (not clear cut) and a road installed throughout the property, but everything else out there is done by the five of us who hunt it. There are the three suburban/city people, him, myself, and his brother in law, and then there are the two locals who tolerate our antics and inexperience in exchange for land access and us paying most of the bills. The two locals are “real men”, guys who do actual manual labor (one is a Verizon field tech who maintains remote cellular sites, often using heavy machinery to do so and the other is a heavy equipment operator doing concrete work for bridges and highways). To support hunting we do quite a bit more labor out there than one might expect, we’ve built an extensive network of stands (most 8x8 free-standing structures 6+ feet in the air), an 80x20 bunk/storage house completely off-grid, and do a lot of farming and land maintenance. Plus we get to play with a small fleet of ATVs, tractors, our Jeeps and trucks, and other random implements. The work we do out there is far more rewarding than my day job of shuffling spreadsheets and budget meetings and the like. It’s a lot of improvising, adapting, and just making things up on the fly to get it done, with the added limitation that stores are a significant drive away and anything brought out there has to be carried on a non-trivial offroad trail. I enjoy hunting, but honestly for most of us I think the supporting work and time spent out there in the company of the other men working hard on a difficult task is the real draw. I look forward to more of these types of stories and find myself drawn to them just like I’ve been drawn to YT channels like Harry’s Farm and others.

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"for most of us I think the supporting work and time spent out there in the company of the other men working hard on a difficult task is the real draw"

I'm saying this non-ironically, even though I know that's not the current way to use the phrase, but: this is what they took from us. To do honest work with tangible results, in the company of like-minded men. I envy you and I hope my son can build a similar community.

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Most of the fellows from my high school graduation class still do this, together in some sense, every day.

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