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MD Streeter's avatar

When I came up to NMU for orientation I hung out with this tall, attractive girl for a little while. a month and a half later, having kept touch, I met up with her again but she had assembled quite a little gaggle of semiliterate orbiters. I opted instead to spend a night with her less-attractive older sister, because why not? Despite my lack of dignity I could never bring myself to orbit someone like that. It's a waste of my time.

On a sort of related note, I used to watch Regular Car Reviews on youtube for his jarring and oddly funny humor. One of the last videos of his I ever watched (a few years ago now) was one about, oh, I think it was a Challenger, I don't remember if it was the Hellcat, but he compared it to your "apex girl," the girl you dated that you put on a pedestal and to whom you compare all subsequent dates. It never made sense to me because, while I have shown some bad judgment in girls, I married exactly the one I wanted. I had competition for her, a wealthy young man from Thailand who went to Yale for grad school and is likely worth at least seven figures these days, and a boxer in the US Olympic training program. Both were orbiters. The Thai man gave her a cute teddy bear and wrote her sweet notes. The boxer showed up at her door crying about how much he was in love with her. I told her exactly what I wanted out of her and made it clear I'd walk and never think about her again with no regrets. I honestly had no idea what I was doing at the time but it worked out. Never orbit. Never settle.

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Alan's avatar

"What a fool believes he sees

No wise man has the power

To reason away"

Only you could make a story about freaking razor blades into tale about stealing some rich bum's ex-stripper wife. First you tell all the "orbiters" to put a barrel in their mouth, then you hand them some ammo. Bravo.

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