154 Comments
author

You had told me in the past that C&D and R&T employed *slightly* different “correction factors,” but I didn’t realize that there was perhaps a sinister underlying motivation…

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Assume everything is a scam, and you'll almost always be right.

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And a big hit at parties too.

Don't get me wrong, I think the same way as you, but it's a tough role to play.

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That's me, life of the party. You should see how women light up when I tell then my hobbies include measuring.

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You think you're a hit with women, do you? Do you have a board certified psychiatrist's diagnosis that you "give off a vibe that repells women"? It's a bit of a dilemma as I like how they feel.

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No, but I have a lifetime of experience that says that.

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If anyone could have ended up an incel it was me, but I have grandchildren so there's hope for just about anyone.

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Same. I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut in real life

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I'm still learning this. PAINFULLY

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author

I just received a very expensive lesson in this, actually.

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Me at a job interivew: "If you're thinking of hiring me because I'm smart, don't expect me to be stupid when you're wrong." If they can't deal with those terms, I'd rather not be working for them. Is it any real surprise that I've been fired from nearly every W2 job that I've ever had? One lasted 2 days, one lasted 22 years but eventually my mouth will wear out my welcome.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Sherman McCoy, Jack Baruth

The revelation that automakers were intimately involved with magazine testing and that numbers can’t really be trusted was a crushing blow to a much younger and more naive me, whose favorite day of the month was when the MT and C/D arrived.

Like finding out about Santa all over again.

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One of the more depressing things about getting older is realizing EVERYTHING is fake and gay and has been for my entire life. We’re a nation of sadistic con artists

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Can confirm. America loves liars and con-men.

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Not true. No one likes Jonny Lieberman, not even himself.

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Ok, I’ll add the proviso that the individual liar and/or con-man can be so noxious and unctuous that America and/or individual Americans can fall out of love with them. I call it the 15 minutes of fame rule.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

Electric cars have changed the game, for me it forced a re-evaluation of what a performance car is, what I really enjoy about it etc. I was already heading this way, I could tell by my lack of enthusiasm when my buddy tells me about how awesomely fast his coworkers new X3M/SQ5 or whatever is. Acceleration used to be exotic and exclusive for the most part.

My first "fast" car was my Buick Grand National in the mid-90's. A slightly modified car that ran low 13's, a high 12 at 105 or so at the big end on a cold New England night, with the 1 foot rollout of course! I've been driving cars no faster than that since. Of course I discovered all the things I *really* like: handling, road feel, clutch pedals etc along the way. In a way the EVs free the enthusiast from needing outright "speed" to drive a performance car. You'd get smoked by a Tesla anyways, so who cares!

There is no doubt I grew up with the idea that "Car and Driver has the best test drivers" in my mind, so thanks for busting THAT bubble!

I am just catching up to date on your articles now, but thanks again for the "track instruction" portion of my membership, it was awesome just to hang out for a bit. I see you had your own failures after my own day of "Volvo fail" so I feel slightly less bummed about nothing working right ;-)

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author

I know it didn't go well for you but I had a heck of a time hearing about your skunkworks Volvo stuff so IT ALL WORKED OUT FOR ME which is whats important!

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

Well at least someone wants to hear about it! So a win for me too. My wife is surely tired of it. The story is still writing itself, will see if I can piss of Volvo a little more when I release software ;-)

I'm really looking forward to driving the fastest car in the world, the V6 Accord Coupe (*weather corrected, 1 foot rollout), so I am not going to let you forget that!

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The longer I live, the more I'm convinced that there truly are no heroes.

EVERYBODY's crooked. EVERYBODY's selling something. EVERYBODY's got an agenda. And EVERYBODY's got skeletons they're desperately trying to hide, or at least disavow.

Capitalism may be the only economic system that works, but it makes us all into scumbags.

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I’m a pretty pessimistic dude but this isnt true. It’s true at a national top of the foodchain level but there are plenty of decent hardworking folk who didnt take the ticket. They don’t get jobs at car and driver or as the ceo of gm.

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That's fair, but at some level the scumbags at the top of the food chain exist because those "decent hardworking folk" don't challenge them. Because that might air out some of their secrets, or at least upend what little bit of comfort they've secured in life.

Nothing heroic about that.

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Those decent hardworking folk are crushed like bugs when they do. Plenty of people spoke back against the ridiculous covid restrictions and vaccine requirements. Plenty of those people lost the ability to feed their families for doing it.

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Oct 25, 2022·edited Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

You're right. And it happens because other people just like them will pull them down like crabs in a bucket.

My principles mean I'm no longer employable in my former industry. But I don't broadcast it because it would only further tank my employment prospects in corporate America and cost me numerous relationships. So I'm no hero, either.

I'm not saying there aren't heroes out there, but they're outnumbered and outgunned into irrelevance.

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author

Just for the record, I remain eternally grateful for my Substackers because you're making it possible for me to raise my son without licking too many boots.

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I've long forgotten about the cost of this subscription, but when I do think about it, I consider the money well spent.

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You could put up blank posts and the subscription would be worth it for the other commenters alone. While not a perfect commenting system, it works better than your old abode.

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Knowing how to pick your battles is distinct from cowardice!

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Yes, but sometimes you gotta toss adulthood in the dumpster and go slug the guy in the Little Ceaser's costume.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Sherman McCoy, Jack Baruth

This is the type of story I’m here for.

I agree with Edmunds, zero to 60 is simply that. Correcting data, whether done by a car magazine or the government, means you are getting something that is not the truth. What should matter is consistency. Do all the testing at the same place. Note the date and temperature and run the tests. Show us the raw numbers. A 0-60 and a half mile trap speed could be knocked out in a morning. I should start my own magazine.

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People correcting quarter mile times to satisfy vw and gm is depressing. Realizing the entire climate science industry is also “corrected”numbers for a lot more money is really depressing

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

You bring up the problem of comparison. In my mind, many of us enthusiasts just want to put too much stock in it!

If they don't "correct" it then "well that was on a hot day, heat soak blah blah blah" and if they *do* correct it "it's not the actual numbers!" Not that I see a problem either way (other than fudging "correction" intentionally!), it just highlights that you can't satisfy everyone with a single set of data. I think it's legit to want to make an objective test that is as consistent and comparable as you can. One place C&D has been great was the "5-60" test invention. I owned the "4.7 0-60" 2009 WRX! Not in a million years was that a reasonable estimation of how quick that car was, and we all know why. 6.3 5-60, that sounds about right.

Jack is right on about the silliness of caring "what some other guy did"...funny how much this stuff matters, I guess the marketing depts are right on. Reminds me of the new GTIs, the pressers appeared to have been sent out with RE-71Rs mounted! Cuz the buyer isn't going to do his own evaluation, he just wants validation from "the experts" in order to justify the purchase. The GTI on the all-seasons you will be actually purchasing is rather miserable.

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Oct 25, 2022·edited Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

Those 600+ HP SUVs can be a real hoot in every day driving, but you’re right that in terms of drag strip driving they’re downright boring after a few passes. When you can just WOT the thing and rip off 11 second passes over and over without a whit of skill, you really do start looking in the rear view mirror at the pony car or muscle car you’re trouncing and get the feeling that you’re getting the W while they’re stuck with having the fun.

But on the street, there’s nothing quite like a 2.5+ ton SUV with more horsepower under the hood than is present in most American driveways to make a grown man giggle. No shame in my game, good sir.

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Been looking for a spot to squeeze this in:

https://thebacklotart.com/the-adventures-of-corvette-man-comic-series/

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

I enjoyed the original sets of old corvette struggle before it started spoofing current culture so much. The Dave one always has me rolling however and knowing what my neighbors must think of me.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

Fantastic.

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As the owner of an 80s Vette I think that’s great! Never forget it was a “underpowered” Corvette that made off with Rick Allen’s arm. Was probably riotous fun up to that point.

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Funny stuff. A lot of it cringingly true.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

Let me clarify that I don’t personally have any UberSUV game. My current utility cube makes a whopping 177 HP. It will drive through the ditches in front of my house with its superior faux wheel drive system, so that’s nice.

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I giggle blowing the doors off manly men in loud trucks in a compact EV, knowing that eventually, if they catch up, they just cost themselves the price of a cold brewski.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Sherman McCoy, Jack Baruth

I love reading this type of intriguing information here and learning the backstory about these magazine shenanigans. But I have to confess I stopped really caring about 0-60 times and quarter mile times back about the time DED Jr. was starting Automobile magazine (the tidbit about him collecting a multi-million dollar bonus was quite interesting). I was very interested in such times when the 5.0 Mustang/Camaro wars were in full swing in the '80s - always hoping the Mustang came out on top (it often didn't). Beyond that, I've more just observed trends over the years ("wow, the Corvettes sure have fast 0-60 times now"), etc. I'm enough of an old farmer driver that I'm more concerned with whether my aging fleet can stay on the road and how can I improve the handling precision of my 54 year old Bronco or my 20 year old Super Duty.

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Car & Driver at least, gave off a very strong smell for years of something being amiss with regard to BMWs, and seemed to be BMW's bought-and-paid-for PR arm.

It got so bad that one guy once wrote them letter commending them for not declaring an M3 the winner of their Corvette shootout.

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It used to be fun and a little bit interesting to see what cars were able to hit 60 mph in less than 5 seconds. Now there are so many cars that do it in less than 4, and some under 2 and I find that ludicrous and to be honest a little boring. We're supposedly in a golden age of speed and horsepower but it's less fun than it was in 1985 or 1995. Or maybe I'm just an old guy, too...

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

Damn, being 14 and running home to read a magazine from cover to cover was so amazing and I felt enlightened after the first read...now I just wonder what matters anymore...

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I liked car magazines growing up but it was all fantasy. I couldn't afford any of it no matter how many hours I put in at micky D's. I wanted an M3 until I actually had the money to afford an M3. Gamer magazines on the other hand were just as big of whores and they lied to children who saved up their allowance to buy garbage their advertisers pushed on them.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

To help you appreciate your childhood...

It was just after the war and I was very blessed to be able to afford car magazines just to be able to see pictures and read about these wonderful cars since the only nice car I’d see was a German sedan driven by a gangster

MD was something I only heard in stories and it’ll be years before I had my first BigMac

Eventually my dad struck a deal with the newspaper stand guy that they’d let me read the magazines for free if I return them the next day without damaging anything so needless to say I thought I was the smartest car person in any direction.

Now I find myself in my thirties wondering is anything real and what even matters in todays existence... since the only thing we value (and are apparently willing to sell anything and everything for) is profit.

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Now I find myself in my thirties wondering is anything real :

Nope!

and what even matters in todays existence:

The answer is and always was "family"

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Vin is stat you 🤣😅

(couldn’t agree more)

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The Great Myth of the Car magazine: That you can build a Car Craft or Sport Compact Car cover car on the precious few coppers you make working some shit retail or restaurant job.

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One of the guys I worked with at Micky D's had a Camaro. I thought he was the coolest person in the world till I found out it was the V-6

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Yep. Same here. My first job at a supermarket, bagging groceries.

Manager had a 91 Camaro.

RS.

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My grandma had a Camaro RS. Not even joking but not sure which year.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

I, too, used to be into memorizing all these performance numbers. Someone else's Santa Claus reference here is very apt. Now, if I look at all, it's at the 5-60 number and the difference between that and 0-60. It at least shows how much of the number comes from the launch and how asleep are the turbos. Someone choosing a manual today is wholly rejecting the relevance of acceleration tests from 0 mph and that's basically my camp.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

"And yet people are less enthusiastic about cars than they’ve ever been."

That's the lede, buried there in the last paragraph. I'm looking forward to Part 2 to see where this goes.

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Really throwing a wrench in my childhood self's implacable belief in the performance table at the back of the rag.

Thanks! Thanks a lot!

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author

Just trying to dull my own pain by sharing with others; at the age of twelve I had the entire C/D performance page memorized.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

Ah, but did you tear out all the pages with ads on both sides first to get through it quicker?

.

.

.

Overheard muttering, 'more fucking floormats.'

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

From an industry insider's perspective, and an engineer that is very competitive at that:

All this correction factor thing is hilarious and pathetic... I knew about the italians being sensitive to this sort of thing and not allowing third party testing, but I'm a little saddened to know the germans do it too..

The funny thing is it actually shows in American performance cars, they seem honest in a no-nonsense way.

The Corvette owners you reference at the beginning are hilarious, and I've seen and met my fair share of them.

Those 600HP SUV drivers are the WORST drivers on the road today, alongside people with instant EV torque. Unpredictable, poor right toe control, and on phones and distracted, unyielding, and bullying others on the road.

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Oct 25, 2022·edited Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

As somebody who got a new 74 VW Super Beetle as a graduation present (That had to handed down to my sister when she needed wheels), fast enough for me is something that can merge onto the freeway and not worry about dying. Or, taking a turn I can easily do at 40+ in a Honda CRV that I would white knuckle the Beetle at 25.

I'm down to Hemmings car magazines these days. Old cars that are old and will stay old and will just get older. Maybe you kiss up to the parts companies that advertise in the magazines, but there's really not a lot of brownie points in kissing up to Stellantis concerning a 64 Rambler American.

I think Jack might have even mentioned it in the recent past. Grassroots Motorsports maybe 15 years ago or so, taking a Honda Odessey around an autocross cross with passengers beating a Jag E Type.

There comes a point of "Good Enough" for 99% of the people.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

Great piece, Jack. Learning about the realities behind the curtain is one of the reasons I'm here.

Looking forward to reading Part 2.

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Oct 25, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

There was a time that I thought being a guy who worked at a magazine would be a really cool job. Now it seems sad.

Then again, 15 year old me would be thoroughly impressed with 37 year old me, only to find out later...

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author

I think the Patrick Bedard years where the magazine held showroom stock challenges and whatnot were pretty cool. In a way C/D has dined out for almost 40 years on the image created from 1975 to 1985.

Working for C/D today, under various idiots and nonentities like Silky Sharon and Eddie Alterman? That's pretty far from cool.

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Sorta like how the entire state of California's been cruising along in the world's pop culture on the reputation it made for itself from WWI to about 1990.

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Oct 26, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

Those are exactly my years of CD, R&T and British car mags. I was so geeked to try to work doing anything at CD that I went to the office as a freshman at UM and offered my gopher services. I "got" a job for about a day, them was called by a receptionist and told that the son of the owner (Hearst back then?) Was given "my" job. Their loss, my economic gain.

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author

That would have been Hachette Fillipachi, I believe!

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Oct 26, 2022·edited Oct 26, 2022Liked by Jack Baruth

No, Ziff Davis. That's what wiki says and I seem to recall that now.

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Working for a magazine means youre a whore who makes a lot less money than your typical whore and if you’re not willing to bend over and take it you start a substack! Eventually, some intriguing CEO will ruin substack too

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