107 Comments
User's avatar
Ronnie Schreiber's avatar

"Kind of like how people gripe about the Waffen-SS but are just blown away by the uniforms."

Hugo Boss had to get his start somewhere.

Speed's avatar

not the designer but his company did make a lot of them

i presume they were made to a high standard

Henry C.'s avatar

All the better to woo Plath types.

Gianni's avatar

And get some Pumas or Adidas to go with.

John Van Stry's avatar

Honestly, neither of those books sound like anything I'd ever want to subject myself to.

I'm not sure why people want to read books about misery and/or failures of others, I just don't get it.

Harry's avatar

I have interest in Fish Tales. As a control freak with a personality prone to doin anything I enjoy to excess I find myself fascinated by tails of people falling into such a pit.

Jack Baruth's avatar

It is a quick read. I would send you my copy if you wanted it.

Harry's avatar

I will take you up on that.

John Van Stry's avatar

I ran a club for about a decade that was full of those people (the ones Jack mentions are in the story). It was fun at first, but after a while, I just didn't want to deal with them anymore. It was a great lesson on human nature though.

Also I got laid a lot...

Speed's avatar

be shocking if you didnt lol

Harry's avatar

I have to imagine you have stories. I never went to farther down that road than picking up what what I found out are called "unicorns" with my a few girlfriends.

Apparently Columbus was, probably still is, a hotspot for "lifestyle" gatherings. One particular GF was to young to go to any of the clubs to check it out so we went to a meet up in a rental hotel ballroom. Turns out it was also a meetup for an early regional amateur porn network.

While flattered, we were not enticed by any of the offers to go up to anyone's rooms! I met my wife soon after so never turned pro.

Louis Nevell's avatar

I belonged to a club, ONCE. The guy who was calling the shots on what was read, he was actually a judge, was insufferable and so were his choices, the last of which, that was when I quit, was pure pornography and stupid as well (if that is not possible).

John Van Stry's avatar

This wasn't that kind of a club ;-)

As for how -I- of all people got to be the one in charge was because a number of friends and acquaintances approached me and asked me to set the whole thing up and run it. Wasn't even my idea.

Hex168's avatar

If Dostoyevsky wrote it (about misery and failure), I'd enjoy it. Otherwise, pass.

Sherman McCoy's avatar

There can be only one candidate for the next book:

Richard Hanania’s ‘Kakistocracy,’ out on July 7.

https://www.amazon.com/Kakistocracy-Why-Populism-Ends-Disaster/dp/0063479990

Speed's avatar

hanania is a weird looking creature and i dont trust him

Jack Baruth's avatar

He looks weird because he is weird. In an earlier era his parents would have exposed him to the elements for being patently defective.

Speed's avatar

just like the people who are spiritually and physically ugly

Sherman McCoy's avatar

If you poke him, perhaps he will descend down from Mount Olympus and debate you!

Jack Baruth's avatar

Gosh, I wonder if he would have time, he's so important.

Scott A's avatar

You guys should debate. Think of the opportunities! “Jack baruth, the handsome one, debates richard hanannanannaia”

Jack Baruth's avatar

I see now he describes himself as a "repentant Trump voter" in the promo paragraph for his book.

Some people would suck off a donkey in public just to have more clicks and likes. Hanania is that person.

Sherman McCoy's avatar

Repentant Trump Voter is a descriptor that applies to tens of millions of people, in all likelihood.

Haligonian's avatar

Guilty as charged.

New User Name's avatar

I'll start feeling guilty for voting for Trump (and whoever comes next) if the democrats stop running retarded nepo babies.

Galahad Threepwood's avatar

He's untrustworthy alright, but often pretty interesting.

Speed's avatar

"Kind of like how people gripe about the Waffen-SS but are just blown away by the uniforms"

coolest uniforms only really equalled by the marine corps

"At one point she even quit a job at NYU"

why in the hell would anyone do that? at the very least it pays well

"I thought the idea of a black “freak” chick falling in love with a giant white cripple who is somehow the abuser in the relationship was admirably innovative. Turns out it actually happened to Ms. Jones"

how tf does this even happen like walk up some stairs or something and go where he cant get you

"capturing something that most of us are or were better off not knowing, to wit: the combination of powerful drugs and uninhibited sex play is addictive in a way that reaches into the marrow of one’s bones"

sometimes i have trouble not reaching for an extra cookie so this would obliterate me. not that i was getting invited to many coke fueled orgies but still

"That’s how you get the “poetry” of Rupi Kaur or Maya Angelou"

both are pure unbridled ass and never should have been taught to read or write

"race hustler, third-rate Pakistani-British slopwriter"

ew

"Lindt will cheerfully give you a chance to experience everything up to the fabled 99 percenter if your taste buds permit"

lindt is alright but i think there are a few higher end brands that sell 99% cocoa bars. i dont need the ability for that to get shipped to my house

John Van Stry's avatar

They won’t go up the stairs because they like the abuse. Seen it far too many times.

Speed's avatar

oh

well thats odd

Scott A's avatar

Dude. Bitches are crazy. They love the drama.

sgeffe's avatar

Never heard of Rupi Kaur, but I agree that the only thing I’ve heard from Maya Angelou, “On the Pulse of Morning,” was just a clueless word salad without a decent dressing (or just entirely vinegar 🤢)! (That “work” was read by the author at President Bill Clinton’s first inauguration, if that says anything.)

Not to speak ill of the dead (at least I think she’s God’s poet-laureate reject for the rest of eternity), but she admitted to plagiarizing material, as I recall!

John Marks's avatar

Jack, Here's a suggestion--or a request.

Please read (or re-read) Hesse's "Narcissus and Goldmund." And then, pretend that it had been first published in 2026. And review it, as such.

BTW: My favorite Hesse trivia bit:

Miles Davis had a live-in girlfriend (I assume, Caucasian) who was obsessed with Hermann Hesse, and could not stop raving about what a genius he was. (This was probably in the aftermath of "Glass Bead Game" winning the Nobel Prize for Hesse.)

Things got to the point where (according to several sources, as well as myth and legend) Davis said to her: "He (meaning Hesse) goes; or, you both can go." She left.

With her jawbone unbroken, it seems.

(Davis broke Cicely Tyson's jaw for her. Today, apologists would say, "It was only a little broken. Not much. Maybe she needed it broken.")

Blecch.

Spanish Johnny

Hex168's avatar

I forgot how much I liked Hesse. Maybe I'll re-read one. Thanks!

NagsHeadLocal's avatar

Wait, so NYU hires race-hustlers too? I thought that was just UNC-Chapel Hill which tried to hire Nikole Hannah-Jones before the state-level Board of Governors put a halt to it.

Some students are STILL whining about it. Full disclosure - your humble narrator and my two children are alums.

Scott A's avatar

They all hire race hustlers

Kevin Baruth's avatar

I would consider reading Toni Morrison only after I completed reading all the works of Maxine Waters.

Jack Baruth's avatar

Start with Jasmine Crockett, whose latest track is "I Woulda Done A Lot Than Stab That White Boy."

redlineblue's avatar

C’mon man. A [black] person can’t be accountable for killing a boy with a knife that small…

Kevin Baruth's avatar

Jazzy Jaz proved, once again, her ignorance and shameless behavior clearly knows no bounds. She'll be missed in congress.

Acd's avatar

After she (finally) leaves congress will she be a regular panelist on multiple CNN shows or will she get her own MSNBC show?

Kevin Baruth's avatar

I think she would be a genuine liability for any of the aforementioned shows. She might be OK if she stuck with her expensive prep school and law degree personna; however, she constantly feels the need to go full ghetto which seems disingenuous at best to anyone with a brain. He moral compass has been magnatized, and she is directionlly challenged.

Scott A's avatar

If i was that boys father id drive to her house shoot her in the face five times and then post a substack about “learning your place” some things are worth going to prison for.

Henry C.'s avatar

She is far from alone in that position.

tshatx's avatar

Suggestions:

Shantaram by Gregory Roberts. Long, almost 2 different books glued together, but a very good read. Semi autobiographical so it fits with this week’s theme. And set in India, for those that want some more context on how their H1B coworkers grew up.

If I Never Get Back by Daryl Brock. Nowhere close to highbrow fiction, but an easy read. Where else will you find time travel, baseball, and grave robbing all in the same book?

Scout_Number_4's avatar

Loved If I Never Get Back, but haven’t thought about it in years. I’d read it again.

Henry C.'s avatar

I've got a half eaten bar on my desk now that says 85% but is probably lower than that. The really high % stuff is a hairshirt. Don't eat that.

I think I'd rather read the phone book.

Steve Ward's avatar

And just where are you going to get a phone book?

Henry C.'s avatar

I'll borrow the one Sherman is sitting on.

Jack Baruth's avatar

Better that that borrowing his girth sleeve, if you know what I mean, and I hope you don't.

Henry C.'s avatar

Shake it.

Here come those Santa Ana winds again.

sgeffe's avatar

I don’t want to even imagine! 🤢🤢🤮

Scott A's avatar

After smoking his 7th cigar of the day, sherman retires to his other lounge with his girth sleeve to play with his mini cigar

sgeffe's avatar

You might say “Dutch Mastu..”..uhh..NVM! 😬

Sherman McCoy's avatar

We are STILL waiting for the ACF ALPHA MALE BIG COCK leaderboard.

What are you waiting for?

Scott A's avatar

Me and silotsod leading with 4 kids each

Sherman McCoy's avatar

George Floyd absolutely MOGGING U from the grave.

He had FIVE kids and will be remembered forever; there will be holidays named for him (“George Floyd Memorial Day” in late May) and monuments erected in his honor.

You are a risk-averse midwestern accountant who works for Daddy.

Eric L.'s avatar

I have five. Someone else has six. But 5-6 kids is child's play. The real challenge comes when you have to buy a 12-passenger van to go anywhere.

Steve Ward's avatar

Its already up. You just can’t see it because you are not on it.

Rick T.'s avatar

See, people. That’s how it’s done.

Harry's avatar

Funny you bring up blocking. I did a re-read of Catch-22 while travelling this week and approached it with the question of why it's filmed adaptations are so unwatchable.

I have thoughts on why the adaptations were so bad, but i also found a completely different novel than I have in the past while trying to read it for anachronisms.

It might not be a good book club candidate because everyone has already read it, but I can't think of another place to share those thoughts other than here once they form into something coherent.

It is a novel that just keeps giving.

Jack Baruth's avatar

It would be fun to discuss. Best idea so far.

Steve Ward's avatar

I think I read it so long ago that I don’t remember anything about it.

Landon McMeekin's avatar

It's worth reading again. I'm on my third copy at this point; I keep leaning it out and never getting it back.

Edit: Loaning it out, I meant to say.

Nplus1's avatar

One of the few books I couldn’t finish reading.

Steve Ward's avatar

OT but what is up with the comment activity list?? Now I seem to notified of multiple levels of comment replies to one of my comments.

Speed's avatar

unsure but ive gotten a lot of those too

very annoying

Jack Baruth's avatar

I'm trying to find and turn that off. Another unwanted improvement from substack.

sgeffe's avatar

Also, when seeing that someone has posted a response to a Comment in my Activity feed, if I click the response, instead of just taking me right to that comment, it takes me there, but then immediately goes to the top-level of the comment stack SOMEPLACE, and then I have to scroll through a portion of those comments, and go down various threads, until I find the response! Frustrating!

I don’t know if that’s what the comment a couple levels up was stating, or if my issue is something different.

Gianni's avatar

I do like the new ACF reply comment rules!

Joe's avatar

I would love to nominate 1984, except for the fact that it isn’t fiction anymore and that it didn’t go far enough, Ford Motor Company has patents for ideas that would make its customers criminals just for getting behind the steering wheel, General Motors and probably every other automaker probably has plans for introducing the tech into their products, Orwell didn’t predict that, or that the companies producing these vehicles would be so adversarial towards their customers, that all of the information collected would be sold directly to the insurance companies that insure these vehicles who are also adversaries of their customers, makes me want to sell my cars and ride a bicycle, and my driving record is very clean.

Harry's avatar

Three felonies a day even without our vehicles tattling on us. We live in interesting times.

Landon McMeekin's avatar

Just buy a twenty-year-old Japanese car. It won't have Bluetooth, so you can get your CD collection out of storage. Works for me.

Landon McMeekin's avatar

In that case, if you ever do chop in your motorized fleet for a bicycle, give me a shout!

Gianni's avatar

A 1997 Civic Coupe is really attractive right now.

Landon McMeekin's avatar

That's a THIRTY year old Japanese car, but you're right. If I could find one for under five grand and under 150K, I'd probably buy it on general principles.

Gianni's avatar

That generation is peak Civic according my 28 year old Honda loving son (the Porsche mechanic).

I drove his 1995 Copart track rat Civic a while back and was reminded how much fun Japanese cars from that era were.

EDIT: it’s the 5th gen 1992-1995 Civic that is peak Civic. The ‘97 was the following generation that started down the Honda cost cutting road.

Joe's avatar

I have an 08 mx-5

Galahad Threepwood's avatar

"Jack Reads Modern Fiction So You Don't Have To" -- I've long appreciated this feature.

Jack Baruth's avatar

They also serve who only stand and read!

Haligonian's avatar

Sit and read, you mean.

Goddamm, it's nice to be back here again.

Jack Baruth's avatar

Nice to have you here, for real.

linearphase's avatar

I won't be reading either of those books, and wouldn't know they existed if you hadn't reviewed them. The wife of a good friend reads many books about marginalized characters in spite of being a 70 year old white woman. I read a lot and we often discuss what we've been reading. She simply cannot understand why I don't read such books because I'm simply not interested, saying they'd be good for me. I read for entertainment or knowledge, not because it's good for me. My reading list exceeds my remaining lifespan anyway.

Also, Gravity's Rainbow is the only book I purposely threw away. Tried to read it 3x over as many decades before giving up. I tossed it so I wouldn't be tempted again.

Hex168's avatar

I know what you mean about Gravity's Rainbow, but I did (eventually) make it through to the end.

Laurie Anderson made a quite good song out of it, though.

linearphase's avatar

Just listened to it. Headphones are a must to hear all of it. Was that before or after he said he'd only allow her to make an operatic adaptation of it if scored for solo banjo¿

Hex168's avatar

Never heard that story!

Edited to add: There's a video version on Youtube from 1985, and she was good-looking back then, too! Just listened to it and you are right about the headphones.

Hey, Jack - what on Earth is that bass she is playing?

typopete's avatar

A long ago GF was an English major, both of my children were English majors (also underpaid graduate assistants) and they were assigned some bizarre books, some of which I read. My bride is in a ladies monthly book club. My distaste for literature started when I was in middle school and my mother found an article in her women's general interest magazine — "great" books your child should read before college. I started with the Scarlet Letter, big waste of time when you are 13 — I didn't finish the list. There are a whole lot of books I just don't get: C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy, the Tolkien books and the authors: Virginia Woolf, John Updike, Marilynne Robinson's Housekeeping. Crime and Punishment was boring but Dostoevsky's The Idiot was fascinating.

sgeffe's avatar

I “McCall(‘s)”..err..RECALL..those! Also “Redbook,” and “Ladies (or was it Women’s) Home Journal?” There were some recipes out of those that became definite family favorites! (I have to make sure I go through the shit-ton of recipes in my Dad’s house before my brother and I would start “the great purge” that will certainly come after my Dad shakes off this mortal coil, since in true Boomer fashion, he will not leave the four-bedroom colonial that’s too big for a single widower..that’s too big a battle! 🙄 There are definitely gustatory delights I don’t want to see lost to history..or a six-yard dumpster!)

typopete's avatar

Usually she got Womens' Day which was the A&P magazine or Family Circle which tended to be sold at Krogers. She hardly ever looked at the recipes because she told my friend's mom "cooking is such a waste of time." I could probably count on two hands her recipe standbys.

sgeffe's avatar

I forgot about those as well!

I love the reply rules put into place!

Stan Galat's avatar

There's less than a 0% chance I'll ever read either of these books, but I read the reviews for one reason: the kind of writing I got for my 2 bucks this week in paragraphs 3, 4 and 5.

When our fearless leader is in "full ironic snark", he is without peer. The prose crackles and pops and sizzles like a high-fat pork sausage in an iron skillet.

Well done, Jack.

Steve Ward's avatar

And your analogies are first rate.