52 Comments
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John Marks's avatar

Wow, Jack.

What a wonderfully-wrought tale!

With a completely believable protagonist!

john

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Mozzie's avatar

Good work, April.

"adding more fine cracks to the aging Apple’s white plastic outer shell." The man's a hero just for being able to keep the thing running so long. But I guess if he's just monitoring a single web page the hardware is sufficient.

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MD Streeter's avatar

Excellent. Don't worry about this release being so far after the first. I'm just glad that it wasn't the same amount of time that elapsed in the story itself!

I liked the "wedge" Eldos, although I feel like Bill: if I got one it wouldn't be red-on-white. I can picture those old Caprice cruisers, too. I saw lots of movies with those in them when I was younger. Bill's a likeable protagonist. It's hard not to read him with a vaguely New York City accent.

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Mozzie's avatar

In college I couldn't avoid reading How to Win Friends and Influence People with a cartoonish NY accent. I don't know why as I hadn't heard Dale Carnegie speak so there's no reference. About half way through the accent went away, thankfully.

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April's avatar

Have a third story in the works, takes place in the same universe but different protagonist, circa 1971.

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Mozzie's avatar

I can smell the smoke-saturated wood paneling already.

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Tom Klockau's avatar

Herbert Tareytons...

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Mozzie's avatar

I had to look up the brand. Do you have any particular memories of these?

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Sobro's avatar

Tom would rather fight than switch.

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Tom Klockau's avatar

I just remember the ads. We went to antique stores a lot on family vacations, and I'd usually get vintage Mechanix Illustrated and Popular Mechanics for the road tests and new car issues...

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Jeff Zahorowski's avatar

I'm laughing; thank you for that memory!

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Rick T.'s avatar

Brava! More, please.

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Fat Baby Driver's avatar

Well done April!

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Lynn W Gardner's avatar

April great writing,,, well done

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Boom's avatar

No disrespect to anyone else whose writing is on this blog, including our gracious host, but this is the best writing here.

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April's avatar

Thank you Boom, as Noel Coward said, “I love criticism just so long as it is unqualified praise.”

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Jack Baruth's avatar

*a silent tear rolls down my eye*

-what does he know, anyway-

*closes laptop*

*the sobbing comes in waves*

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Henry C.'s avatar

*unscrews cap of Ketel One. Tosses seal to Snobes to play with.

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Jack Baruth's avatar

I'm afraid that's what happened next!

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April's avatar

It was reading Jack that inspired me to put pen to paper

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GatorStan's avatar

This was excellent! Quite the eclectic reading selections here at Jack’s Place. From tractors to string quartets to current events to racing updates and unexpected gems like this one. Then, of course, there are the Comments. A much needed respite from a world of chaos and idiocy. More please.

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April's avatar

Thanks GatorStan, if you haven’t already, please read the first story, A Snowy Night in Beverly Hills, which introduces our Penske RS driving detective.

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GatorStan's avatar

I’d read it before but I reread it—prior to reading today’s post—to make sure I was up to speed on all the details. I loved the line about trading in his 300 because he liked A/C that worked.

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-Nate's avatar

That being said ;

When the Air Temp II worked, is was incredible if wildly over complicated .

I miss it still, I had to teach my self how to service, test and repair it then I sold the car on as I really didn't like the color .

-Nate

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Henry C.'s avatar

Bravo.

'Wash the taste of the nursing home out of his mouth'

Only God knows why this is a real thing, but it is.

'Heck, you must be pushing seventy…'

Ouch.

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April's avatar

Hell hath no fury….

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unsafe release's avatar

Excellent story and well written, April!

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Amelius Moss's avatar

Splendid April! Bill's age seems a bit off but all the greats play loose with an accurate timeline.

"PRIVATE PROPERTY — NO JUNK MAIL." A hearty chuckle from all the mailmen. Sorry Karen, it doesn't work that way.

This has a bit of James Ellroy to it. Are you a fan?

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April's avatar

Thanks AM, Bills age was considered, If he is 92 (I know I’m pushing it) in 2020 then he could have joined up at 17 with parental consent. I like Elroy but am more a fan of Loren D. Estleman’s Detroit private eye books.

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Jack Baruth's avatar

I'd say "Imagine a 92 year old action hero" but Liam Neeson is getting close and Clint Eastwood is THERE.

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MD Streeter's avatar

I was wondering who I would cast as Bill. In the original I kept thinking of Luther Gillis, the Magnum PI character. This time I went with William Shatner. I still heard the New York City accent, though...

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AK47isthetool's avatar

Robert Forster is too young but not by that much considering how well Bill gets around. edit-and he's dead so that won't work.

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Jack Baruth's avatar

Yeah, when I read this I ABSOLUTELY think of Robert Forster.

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Tom Klockau's avatar

Max Cherry and his Innsbruck Blue '76 Seville...

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Peter Voyd's avatar

If Bill is 92 in 2020, he was born in 1928. He wouldn't be drafted to fight in WW2.

A circa 1980 car phone would not work in 2020.

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James Burns's avatar

Put makeup on Titus Welliver and you’re there. Excellent second half!

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April's avatar

James, I can totally see him in the role, if Hollywood comes calling, I will let the casting director know.

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Sobro's avatar

Very enjoyable April. I look forward to more of your submissions.

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Scott's avatar

April must have spent some time in vintage Cadillac's. Well done!

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April's avatar

In and under a number of vintage Cadillacs

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-Nate's avatar

Very good ! . I enjoyed every word and being a geezer my ownself I appreciated and enjoyed the history lesson skillfully woven in .

More please .

-Nate

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-Nate's avatar

I seem to have missed somehow a/the link to the first story, I'd like to re - read it if you'll kindly provide a link to same .

TIA,

-Nate

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-Nate's avatar

Thank you ! .

April ; maybe you should consider writing a noir L.A. novel or a series of vignettes .

-Nate

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April's avatar

Have a third almost done (different city but same universe) and fourth in rough draft form (back in LA).

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-Nate's avatar

Thank you .

I imagine you could work with any area you knew the nitty gritty of .

-Nate

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Ataraxis's avatar

Wow, I loved this. Read it with my morning coffee. I missed the 1st installment so that’s tomorrow morning’s read.

I especially liked all the great references sprinkled throughout. Many made me chuckle, like the SC430 reference. There’s a bunch of old retirees where I live so I see SC430s all the time. They’re kind of growing on me.

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April's avatar

Hope you like the first story just as much, perhaps a more interesting take reading them in reverse order.

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