Wednesday Racing/Open Thread

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you’re not the chosen one, that’s how

If you missed the Dutch GP — and if you actually care about Formula Unn — you missed the proverbial historic race. Apparently there was more overtaking during this race than in any previous Formula One event, like, ever. And it was anything but a walk in the park for Max as he won his ninth consecutive race — with Fernando Alonso joking that he’d considered making a move in the final laps, “but I cannot exit the circuit anymore” had he done so in front of the orange-clad crowd.

There’s too much to discuss up front so I’ll restrict myself to Winners and Losers.

Winners:

• Max Verstappen, obviously. Once again, Sergio was given the undercut in a sudden downpour, but it didn’t really matter. Wet or dry, DRS or no DRS, there was no stopping him. And note that pace in the wet, which was considerably better than anyone else’s.

• Fernando, in an improved Aston Martin, very much feeling his oats in all conditions.

• Pierre Gasly, who held off better cars (and drivers?) while overcoming a five-second penalty to sit on the podium. His arrogance doesn’t always feel earned but this time you have to give it to him.

• Liam Lawson, who looked at least as good in the AlphaTauri as the highly-discussed Danny Ric and who brought the car home in a difficult race with multiple condition changes. One has to think that he has (Wally) pipped Ricciardo here in permanent fashion. If he improves at all, why would you return an older driver to the car — other than the chance to pick up some Drive To Survive airtime?

Losers:

• Princess George, whose race verged on the tragicomic. He simply out-drove Lewis on Saturday, only to find himself put on the same wait-and-see intermediate-tire strategy as if he were circulating around the back of the track with The Chosen One. Having been well and thoroughly fucked over with that, Mercedes then put him on hard tires… in the middle of a race where everybody expected more rain. The only possible reason to put Russell on hard tires was to ensure that Hamilton had an easy pass. Near the end of the race, George was working through the field when he cut a tire and had to fall back. He should have had a podium, not 17th.

• McLaren, which couldn’t convert.

• Charles Leclerc, who ran over his own front wing.

• Danny Ric, who decided to imitate a Spec Miata rookie and keep his hands on the wheel all the way into the wall. It looked almost deliberately self-harming, like maybe he’d changed his mind about going F1 racing.

In the Winner AND Loser category you have Logan Sergeant, who knocked Lewis out of Q3 but apparently had a loss of power steering that put him in the wall. The F1 directors kept going back to Logan, who at one point appeared to be openly sobbing. Is his seat at risk? How could it not be? He’s being publicly schooled by someone who has been repeatedly demoted out of work.

Before you're tempted to put Lance Stroll in the Losers category, consider this: It’s easy to make the argument that he is being trained to own a Formula One team, rather than just drive for one. Should his father decide to hand over Aston Martin F1 in the next few years, which is easy to conceive, Lance will have a remarkable amount of insight into everything from “what’s it actually like to drive one of these things” to “how do you get the best out of someone like Fernando Alonso”. Nobody will ever confuse him with Ayrton Senna but he has finished near the front on pure merit in the past and he’s no longer careless with the car.

Over on the NASCAR side of things, Martin Truex clinched the regular-season championship, which should arguably be, just, you know, the championship. Kurt Busch is retiring due to the aftereffects of a concussion. “I literally can’t remember basic things, like where the shift lever is, or the last time I beat my girlfriend,” he absolutely did not say in a prepared statement.

Please, please panic

The media is starting to beat the COVID-19 drum again, with many outlets referring in hopeful terms to “panic”. No word yet if we’re going to get another “winter of severe illness and death.” The smart money is on the disease getting just enough traction to increase the pressure for universal mail-in voting, or maybe you’ll just go to a non-HTTPS website, type in a random name, and click on a Shockwave Flash animation of jumping boxes that always puts “Harris, K.” under your mouse right when you click.

Don’t expect the “surge” to be severe enough to derail the almost sexual excitement displayed by American corporations over getting people back into the office, where they can do about the same amount of work they do remotely but their bosses get to humiliate and dominate them in person, which is the only fun way to do it. Amazon continues to lead the charge of being an unimaginably evil employer with a strong three-days-in-the-office-so-your-VP-feels-important mandate. Good news! Many of you will have the exciting choice of living in New York City or Austin, TX. Hope you like living in an apartment. You’re not safe at home anyway — the virus is in the deer.

Alright, ACF readers — over to you!