It is the ultimate shit test for Ferrari customers. Are you rich and willing enough to buy this to get access to the good stuff? Knowing you’re gonna take such a huge loss on any resale that you will not make up for it on flipping the exclusive cars?
If you cannot stomach that, then you are not a true Ferrari customer. You are not actually rich. You’re a striver and flipper. You merely pretend to the club.
This car is the Ferrari of the dark rituals of Skull and Bones initiates. It is automotive Epstein Island.
"Well Muffy, I didn't want the silly thing, but I wanted an actual Ferrari and had to get it. I gave it to the maid." *bubbles come out of toy pipe*
"Indeed."
Amazing how many manufacturers are just scumbags now. Remember when you wanted Car A. You walked into the dealer, the car was there, you bought Car A and left? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Maybe you are too young to remember, but at one time you went into the dealer, opened up the options book with the sales person, went down the list checking off exactly what you wanted, along with (real) color choice for exterior and interior, then put down a deposit. Dealer would order your car, and a couple of months later you would take delivery.
I have a friend who somehow bought a Range Rover Classic, all built up to be a Camel Trophy replica. He didn't care for it much but me being a Land Rover aficionado, I offered to buy it from him.
Well, he just gave it to his "AU PAIR" instead. Considering it's a lifted solid axle Land Rover, she ended up rolling it.
Fiat already has the perfect naming convention: Topolino, or “little mouse” from the Fiat 500, which was said to remind people of Mickey Mouse.
In this case, since the Luce is huge and heavy and looks like an Apple mouse, Ferrari should have called it The Topone, which would be the nickname for “big mouse” (“topo grande”).
My favorite YouTube comment called the Luce the Ferrari 17 Pro Max.
The mahogany doors of Ferrari’s Maranello boardroom burst open, revealing a bald man in a grey Nehru suit with a cat. Behind him lumbered a giant in a kilt, eating a bone-in ham he was carrying, and a mini-clone wearing matching silk racing overalls.
"Greetings, corporate sycophants!" Dr. Evil announced, spinning a nearby globe with his pinky finger. "As the new majority shareholder of Ferrari, I am initiating Phase One of my plan for global psychological warfare."
The Chief Marketing Officer blinked, adjusting his designer glasses. "Does this involve a new hybrid powertrain, Doctor?"
"No," Dr. Evil smirked. "It is FAR, FAR more evil than that! It involves the total, catastrophic mental breakdown of every sports car purist on Earth. We are building a car so aggressively stupid, so visually offensive, so repellant that Ferraristi everywhere will weep tears of pure carbon fiber. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
He slammed a blueprint onto the table. "I present to you: The Ferrari Luce." The engineering team crowded around the paper. A collective gasp echoed through the room. It looked like a cross between a melted Cybertruck, a high-end toaster, a Little Tikes Cozy Coupe, and a computer mouse.
"Dr. Evil," the Head of Design stammered, his hands shaking. "The front overhang is four feet long. It's ugly. And... are these fake plastic exhaust pipes?"
"They are chrome-plated plastic," Dr. Evil corrected. "And they emit a high-pitched whistling noise, like a kettle. Furthermore, it is an EV, so no one will want it. The engine is sourced from a 1968 GE generator, ha ha! And the interior? White velour."
An EV? Ugly, stupid and totally repellant? This violates the very soul of Enzo! The purists will riot!"
"Exactly!" Dr. Evil cackled, throwing his head back. "Mini-Me, show them the infotainment system!"
Mini-Me hopped onto the table and kicked a small monitor.
"The dashboard has no buttons," Dr. Evil explained. "To activate the windshield wipers, you must navigate through four sub-menus on a touchscreen that only responds to sweaty palms. The horn doesn't honk. It plays a low-fidelity recording of a kazoo."
The room was dead silent, save for the ticking of an expensive watch."But the true stroke of genius," Dr. Evil whispered, leaning in, "is the pricing structure. What does a top-tier supercar cost these days? Four hundred thousand dollars? Five hundred thousand?"The CFO nodded slowly. "The market dictates—"
"I don't care about the market!" Dr. Evil interrupted. "Take the manufacturing cost, add a reasonable profit margin, and then tack on an extra... one million dollars! BWA HA HAHA!"
"Sir," Number Two whispered, leaning over his shoulder. "That's a bit much, even for boutique hypercars. The buyers won't pay it if it's an EV potato.""Fine, fine," Dr. Evil grumbled, rolling his eyes. "We will adjust it for inflation. We will price it exactly six hundred thousand dollars over what anyone in their right mind would pay. Retail price: One point two million dollars. Cash only. No cup holders." "No one will buy this," the CMO said, a desperate note of hope in his voice. "It is too ugly. It is too expensive. It is an insult to automotive history. It will ruin the brand! If Enzo was still alive, he'd punch your face off, sir!"
Dr. Evil giggled, tapping his pinky against his lip. "Oh, they will buy it. Wealthy tech billionaires will buy it ironically. Social media influencers will buy it to film themselves setting it on fire. And the purists? The men who polish their vintage Testarossas with diaper wipes? Their heads will literally explode from rage. It will be SUPERB to watch!"
Three months later, the Ferrari Luce debuted at the Geneva Motor Show. When the silk sheet was pulled back, a profound, horrified silence fell over the crowd. The motoring press stared at the four-wheeled, engineless, kazoo whistling monstrosity. On the stage, Dr. Evil stood in a custom Ferrari Red Nehru suit, stroking Mr. Bigglesworth. "Behold," Dr. Evil shouted into the microphone. "The future of Italian performance! It does zero to sixty in one million seconds! Enjoy your new masterpiece, suckers!"
In the front row, a prominent automotive journalist looked from the price tag to the plastic exhaust pipes, clutched his forehead, fainted, and collapsed into a display of Pirelli tires.
"Mission accomplished!" boomed Dr. Evil "MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Why is everybody so hard on the Celestiq? I have yet to see one in person, but I think it’s quite cool. I think it‘s true to the brand as it used to be, ultra luxurious with grandeur. Sure, could’ve made it not an EV!
“The most unfortunate thing is we will have to read journalists' reviews that defend this car, because Ferrari will withhold access to other ICE cars to review if they don't celebrate this EV, and we will have to read about buyers buying it, because Ferrari won't sell you a new sports or hyper car unless you buy the EV first.“
Can you imagine how Camissa and LIEberman are going to glaze this thing to “maintain access”?
Disagree. On Ferrari not Cammisa. As a child of the 80s and 90s, I’m all in on the F355, 550, 360, and I’d even dabble with the 458. Basically the end of the gates cars plus the 458.
He's a contractor now, he's no longer a real Motor Trend person, and they have been giving the Ferrari stuff to other people. So this is his bid to follow the crowd without losing much of what he doesn't have.
"Hi! This is Ferrari! You like this ugly embarrassing turd? Well too bad, you will have to buy at least one of these ugly embarrassing turds to get even a chance to buy a semi-desirable Ferrari! F you!"
I like all the beautiful Ferraris from the 60’s, but I really like the Testarossa because it’s so outlandish. It’s definitely not as beautiful as the classic Ferraris.
They are magnificent. My only Ferrari to date. Owned a factory black on brown 1985 flying mirror from 2012-2015. Planned to keep it, but when offered double what I had into it, I took the money and bought a like new 2009 997 Turbo. Which I stupidly sold in 2019 just before Covid.
That’s fantastic, you’re a lucky man with good taste! I enjoy Harry Metcalfe’s videos of his.
I would have sold it, too.
To make you feel better, I saw a BMW M1 at a car show full of Mustangs and Camaros in suburban Chicago in the 1990s. I think I was the only one there besides the owner who knew what it was, everyone probably thought it was a kit car.
It was in the back of the car show sitting there all by itself, so I went up to the owner and complimented the car. The owner’s first words to me: “Do you want to buy it?”
The owner only wanted $75k! I had the cash because I was just about to do a home rehab, and in retrospect I should have bought the M1 instead of doing the rehab, but realistically I would have sold it as soon as M1 prices took off.
The big question. What are the undervalued but still cool cars today?
Will they really sell any of these? This seems like an emperor's new clothes situation. A hideous appliance with insane performance for ridiculous money.
It’s exactly the Emperors New Clothes. I guess those in power are immune to their inflated self worth.
The Luce will sell to those who think we serfs just don’t have the knowledge or vision or taste to see what only they can see, i.e. their money makes them better than us.
See: Fender, Bambu Labs. Both companies stepped in their own fecal material by abusing intellectual property rights.
I think IP is one of the things that made the modern world possible, but long ago I realized that powerful owners of IP will use their power to expand their property rights. Sort of like putting up a fence that's outside your property line.
Fender is trying to use a default judgment in a regional court in Germany to establish copyright to the Stratocaster body shape that has already been adjudicated in the U.S. as in the public domain. By threatening small companies, Fender has pissed off just about every guitar player except for the ones with signature guitar deals.
Bambu Labs changed their firmware so people running 3D print farms can't use 3rd party software to manage their printers. In doing so, they provoked the open source community to counterattack because Bambu is violating the open source license under which they publish their own software.
I had reservations when I bought my Bambu when they introduced their core XY printers, not so much because it wasn't open source but because they obviously wanted you to print via their servers, not over your local network. You can't even see their printers on your LAN without Bambu software. However, my X1C was genuinely the best printer for the money when I bought it, and it has performed exceptionally well.
For my next printer, I'll probably bite the bullet and pay the premium for a Prusa. They're even assembling machines in the U.S. now, in addition to their Prague facilities.
To me it kind of looks like the gm ultralight concept car. They used it in demolition man, which was a movie about how great the future is going to be.
Ferrari can’t fail as long as their sales targets of this thing are reasonable, because if they want to make 1000 they can sell a 1000 as Jack mentioned, to the most loyal buyers who want to get the good stuff. Therefore Ferrari better keep the good stuff real good. For the record the recent Ferraris don’t strike me in any way like those of pre-488/F8.
The interior looks like a Tesla. Why can’t Ferrari make a Ferrari interior in this thing? This car could pass as an EV with a mediocre exterior but it should have a FERRARI interior.
$640k. I mean, why the hell not $840k. That sticker price number alone should tell you these things are going to be sold with matching VINs to all the limited stuff from now on.
I just made this connection after watching Luce videos and then asking AI to give me products that look like the Luce. One of the answers was a white box that a previous iMac came in (LOL, sometimes AI can be amusing!), but it also gave me the 1999 Ford 021C concept that was designed by a product designer named Marc Newsom, who had never designed a car before. I had never heard of this guy, since the Ford concept was obscure and he had never designed another car. https://www.petersen.org/vehicle-spotlights/1999-ford-021c
Then on the Luce videos I watched today, I learned that Jonny Ive’s partner in his LoveFrom design company that designed the Luce is ….. Marc Newsom.
I had seen the Petersen video months ago, so when it popped up on AI I looked the car up further, and Marc Newsom’s website appeared.
Then I was watching a great video on the Luce by the Shmee YouTuber Guy, and he mentioned Newsom, so it clicked.
I don’t watch the Shmee channel because I’m not into his shtick and his supercars, however, he is a smart guy, and his Luce video is really great because he can’t believe how bad the car is. And he is a top tier Ferrari customer who gets all the new cars.
Also, he was really critical of Ferrari’s handling of the press reveal. He said it was really distasteful and manipulative . The video is well worth watching for that story and who Ferrari is marketing this car to.
I thought Jony Ive was the mastermind behind the design. The iPod/iphone was a new thing. Here he has taken the opportunity to make a Ferrari look like every other EV. Without a badge no one would guess this is a Ferrari. It looks like a Jaguar, whatever model is the Waymo car.
The spec on these is going to be dreadful. Most Ferraris I see are red/black or black/black and just a waste when you consider what is possible. This thing is going to be bought and sold at the soonest possible opportunity.
You know, if Ferrari was smart, they would make these things leases, where they can’t be re-sold, so you are stuck making payments on these things for 36 or 48 months, and you can’t get rid of them. That is the only way Ferrari could more humiliate their customers- making them buy this ridiculous $640k Model Y Performance.
Personally I think the interior is the one thing they got right. Thumb their noses at the bigger screen the better crowd. The retro steering wheel and toggle switchgear are really unique and cool touches.
Of course I also think the Celestiq is an incredible design, so what do I know.
„For the record the recent Ferraris don’t strike me in any way like those of pre-488/F8.“ That‘s because Ferrari cut it‘s ties with Pininfarina. Ever since they did, all cars came out ugly…
I agree with your first statement about how EV's should be town cars, for local use and travel. My spouse is looking at buying a Slate for that very reason. They don't drive much anymore and they think it'll be fun and with all of the aftermarket stuff you should be able to do with it, it'll be fun to mess with. We've got enough solar panels that charging it will be free, and eventually I'll look into seeing if we can use it as a battery backup for the house.
Also, the price is low.
A lot of folks in Texas buy ATV's (the overgrown golf cart ones) and use them on the streets to go into town and do stuff. It's legal, but you're limited as to what streets you're allowed on (depending mainly on speed limit). I think town car EV's could capture this market if they are made to fit the role that the ATV's are currently used for, if they keep prices down, and they are given interesting and good looking designs (as well as functional).
If the EV makers were smart, they would all be pivoting away from 'highway' and 'long trip' cars to local haulers and commuters. That's the real market. The rest of the market belongs to Tesla, and good luck trying to compete with them!
That sounds good and it could work for the more-congested regions of Europe or Asia. But in the US, we have it engrained in our culture that our car should reasonably be able to take us wherever we want to go...even if we'll never leave town in it. More to the point, a car that could only go around town would still cost $12,000+...and there's a finite number of people who would pay that much for such a limited-use thing.
For me, specifically, if I have a car that I can only put around town in, it's going to be something much more fun than a glorified golf kart. Like the 2000 528i 5MT M Sport that I bought in 2022 for $1,000 and recently donated to a friend.
Fair. The other thing *non-car* people frequently do is try to have all their cars be able to do all of the things. Each car must have three rows, in case either parent has to pick up all the kids at once. Each car must be able to leave town and drive 300+ miles on a tank, because [reasons].
I still don't think too many average people would spend five figures on a vehicle that can only go short distances. Not enough to make it worthwhile. An automaker has to sell an EV as a do-all kind of thing, with the resultant range and therefore curb requirements, in order to price it for even as much as a same-sized ICE car. If they made them round-trip cars with 100 miles of range, still, no one would buy them unless they were very cheap.
Ironically, that's exactly how supercars and especially limited-edition vehicles are treated by most of their owners. They're driven short distances in controlled environments, mostly around town. No one is taking an Artura Speedtail or an SF90 XX Stradale on a 500-mile road trip; it's too valuable.
You can’t buy a new car for anything but 5-figures. So yeah, a lot of them will. Also, all of the two car families I know, the two cars are not at all the same. So I would disagree with you on that point.
Many 2-car families in my neighborhood that have two Odysseys, two Foresters, or two RAV4s. Although, one pickup and one midsize crossover is more common.
1: As a Ferrari Product, this thing is an abomination. It's worse that the most generic fan-fic style renders southeast asian kids would draw back in my design school days. It does nothing to further the brand and will be a blot on the brand right up to the point that it sells more actual compelling high end product that they want to gatekeep further. Which, was pointed out. This, like the SUV seems an extension of the "we're publicly listed!" answer for rando investors.
2: If this simply had an apple logo on it, we'd absolutely love EVERY SINGLE THING about this car. It has every bit of brand recognition we'd expect from a tech firm trying to please everyone and stir no loins when looking at it.
3: Aren't we all tired of the numbers on electric everything? Even the slowest is always much quicker in a straight line than their ice siblings. EVs defeating all the numbers tests is the equivalent to turbo ice motors defeating mpg testing. No one should care or believe them anymore.
4: OMG THAT WEIGHT. After Lotus showed that 1100hp pile of crap, I guess it was obvious that everyone was going to get away with flying bricks in this segment.
5: Not even Lewis and his sense of fashion could make this cool. Good thing he'll be a brand ambassador till death. (That's on you buddy... yikes!)
Oh yeah, there's some neat things an Apple branded car could do with this. The interior is generally pleasant and future tech oriented. It also is NO WAY it costs above 85k to manufacture.
Are the carbon credits still a thing? That is what kept Tesla in business for years.
The greatness of Apple is that they don’t have loss leaders. They innovate and make everything they sell desirable enough to charge what they want to charge.
I honestly had that thought. This for them is a compliance car, but they're also trying to force prospective buyers to buy crap to get street cred before they will sell them the car they really want. Saves them lots of dev time to just pay for something like this and rebadge it.
I think it is gorgeous, completely gorgeous .
It is the ultimate shit test for Ferrari customers. Are you rich and willing enough to buy this to get access to the good stuff? Knowing you’re gonna take such a huge loss on any resale that you will not make up for it on flipping the exclusive cars?
If you cannot stomach that, then you are not a true Ferrari customer. You are not actually rich. You’re a striver and flipper. You merely pretend to the club.
This car is the Ferrari of the dark rituals of Skull and Bones initiates. It is automotive Epstein Island.
COTD
so good im mad i didnt come up with it myself
bravo
More of an automotive Aleister Crowley mansion.
Charge as thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Props for indirectly referencing what Crowley did to his followers on the altar.
Humiliation ritual
I asked Jack earlier today what are the odds Ferrari makes this car the gateway to the good stuff.
Ferrari is Katje, while the customers buying this are Brigadier Pudding.
"who among you is Old Money enough to help us offset the losses on this piece of shit? For you shall be rewarded with the next V12"
*slow clap
Man, I actually think it looks pretty cool. A bit cliche, I suppose. It's an EV so it HAS to look like a robot but I think it's got presence.
Sure, it's not what we expect from Ferrari, but come on, it's cool looking! You guys are too critical!
This is the car you buy for the help
"Well Muffy, I didn't want the silly thing, but I wanted an actual Ferrari and had to get it. I gave it to the maid." *bubbles come out of toy pipe*
"Indeed."
Amazing how many manufacturers are just scumbags now. Remember when you wanted Car A. You walked into the dealer, the car was there, you bought Car A and left? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Maybe you are too young to remember, but at one time you went into the dealer, opened up the options book with the sales person, went down the list checking off exactly what you wanted, along with (real) color choice for exterior and interior, then put down a deposit. Dealer would order your car, and a couple of months later you would take delivery.
Oh I remember, my folks always custom ordered new Volvos from Lundahl Motors back in the 80s and 90s.
Speaking of people with more money than sense...
I have a friend who somehow bought a Range Rover Classic, all built up to be a Camel Trophy replica. He didn't care for it much but me being a Land Rover aficionado, I offered to buy it from him.
Well, he just gave it to his "AU PAIR" instead. Considering it's a lifted solid axle Land Rover, she ended up rolling it.
The sad fate of cars for the help.
Au pair is a euphemism for live in 24 year old mistress
Maybe where you live!
My associates are not boffing theirs.
Your associates are doing it wrong
I wasn't aware this car existed. I was better off then than I am now.
Same here. I'm all "lugubre" about LUCE.
It’s my fault for having a phone.
100%. You should burn it right now.
I'll make this quick. The original interior photos had me hoping for a retro 412 inspired look and we got a bathtub instead. It's sad really.
same
i had no idea it could get this bad
I was hoping for a 400 / 412 inspired vehicle, but what we got is similarly exciting.
Yawn. It will cheapen the brand. Build it as a Fiat or (slightly less bad) an Alfa if you must.
They could call it the Fiat Fart. Or the Alfa Awful.
Fiat already has the perfect naming convention: Topolino, or “little mouse” from the Fiat 500, which was said to remind people of Mickey Mouse.
In this case, since the Luce is huge and heavy and looks like an Apple mouse, Ferrari should have called it The Topone, which would be the nickname for “big mouse” (“topo grande”).
My favorite YouTube comment called the Luce the Ferrari 17 Pro Max.
best comment I've read on the subject called it the Temu Tesla
That's perfect, actually.
Ratto Grasso = Fat Rat. LOL
They should, but its 700k. To me this is a sub 100k polestar.
$700? THOUSAND? USD?!
Jesus Christ, P.T. Barnum was right!!
Where are the other horsemen?!
Galloping away. You haven't been paying attention.
"Arnie, this thing isn't worth fifty bucks."
At least we know what the apple car was going to look like.
I still cant fathom what they were thinking.
well it doesn't look as awful as a Celestiq!
just what does "LUCE" stand for? "lucky upper class enthusiast"?
saw this over the weekend and first thought was "robin's egg blue"??? is Ferrari trying to make people think its not a real Ferrari?
"well it doesn't look as awful as a Celestiq!"
Not *really* a yardstick, is it?
"lucky upper class enthusiast"?
Nicely done. But can you really imagine *any* true enthusiast do anything other than distance themselves from this thing?
"is Ferrari trying to make people think its not a real Ferrari?"
But of course.
Lousy, Ugly, Crappy Everywhere.
Wait: Lousy, Crappy, Ugly, Expensive.
As Ned Ryerson would say, Bing!
As a teenager, Stephen Tobolowsky recorded with Stevie Ray Vaughn.
This sounds like a good Old Fashioned Italian job for you and Dr. Evil! Or, you take out Dr. EVil!
OK!
The mahogany doors of Ferrari’s Maranello boardroom burst open, revealing a bald man in a grey Nehru suit with a cat. Behind him lumbered a giant in a kilt, eating a bone-in ham he was carrying, and a mini-clone wearing matching silk racing overalls.
"Greetings, corporate sycophants!" Dr. Evil announced, spinning a nearby globe with his pinky finger. "As the new majority shareholder of Ferrari, I am initiating Phase One of my plan for global psychological warfare."
The Chief Marketing Officer blinked, adjusting his designer glasses. "Does this involve a new hybrid powertrain, Doctor?"
"No," Dr. Evil smirked. "It is FAR, FAR more evil than that! It involves the total, catastrophic mental breakdown of every sports car purist on Earth. We are building a car so aggressively stupid, so visually offensive, so repellant that Ferraristi everywhere will weep tears of pure carbon fiber. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
He slammed a blueprint onto the table. "I present to you: The Ferrari Luce." The engineering team crowded around the paper. A collective gasp echoed through the room. It looked like a cross between a melted Cybertruck, a high-end toaster, a Little Tikes Cozy Coupe, and a computer mouse.
"Dr. Evil," the Head of Design stammered, his hands shaking. "The front overhang is four feet long. It's ugly. And... are these fake plastic exhaust pipes?"
"They are chrome-plated plastic," Dr. Evil corrected. "And they emit a high-pitched whistling noise, like a kettle. Furthermore, it is an EV, so no one will want it. The engine is sourced from a 1968 GE generator, ha ha! And the interior? White velour."
An EV? Ugly, stupid and totally repellant? This violates the very soul of Enzo! The purists will riot!"
"Exactly!" Dr. Evil cackled, throwing his head back. "Mini-Me, show them the infotainment system!"
Mini-Me hopped onto the table and kicked a small monitor.
"The dashboard has no buttons," Dr. Evil explained. "To activate the windshield wipers, you must navigate through four sub-menus on a touchscreen that only responds to sweaty palms. The horn doesn't honk. It plays a low-fidelity recording of a kazoo."
The room was dead silent, save for the ticking of an expensive watch."But the true stroke of genius," Dr. Evil whispered, leaning in, "is the pricing structure. What does a top-tier supercar cost these days? Four hundred thousand dollars? Five hundred thousand?"The CFO nodded slowly. "The market dictates—"
"I don't care about the market!" Dr. Evil interrupted. "Take the manufacturing cost, add a reasonable profit margin, and then tack on an extra... one million dollars! BWA HA HAHA!"
"Sir," Number Two whispered, leaning over his shoulder. "That's a bit much, even for boutique hypercars. The buyers won't pay it if it's an EV potato.""Fine, fine," Dr. Evil grumbled, rolling his eyes. "We will adjust it for inflation. We will price it exactly six hundred thousand dollars over what anyone in their right mind would pay. Retail price: One point two million dollars. Cash only. No cup holders." "No one will buy this," the CMO said, a desperate note of hope in his voice. "It is too ugly. It is too expensive. It is an insult to automotive history. It will ruin the brand! If Enzo was still alive, he'd punch your face off, sir!"
Dr. Evil giggled, tapping his pinky against his lip. "Oh, they will buy it. Wealthy tech billionaires will buy it ironically. Social media influencers will buy it to film themselves setting it on fire. And the purists? The men who polish their vintage Testarossas with diaper wipes? Their heads will literally explode from rage. It will be SUPERB to watch!"
Three months later, the Ferrari Luce debuted at the Geneva Motor Show. When the silk sheet was pulled back, a profound, horrified silence fell over the crowd. The motoring press stared at the four-wheeled, engineless, kazoo whistling monstrosity. On the stage, Dr. Evil stood in a custom Ferrari Red Nehru suit, stroking Mr. Bigglesworth. "Behold," Dr. Evil shouted into the microphone. "The future of Italian performance! It does zero to sixty in one million seconds! Enjoy your new masterpiece, suckers!"
In the front row, a prominent automotive journalist looked from the price tag to the plastic exhaust pipes, clutched his forehead, fainted, and collapsed into a display of Pirelli tires.
"Mission accomplished!" boomed Dr. Evil "MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Mr. Bigglesworth purred.
The tires that apparently will come with their own IP address!
Brilliant!
I totally forgot the Celestiq is a thing.
so did consumers
The color is a classic Ferrari blue - Azzurro La Plata
luce is Italian for "light"
Well that’s ironic given the absurd vehicle weight.
exactly
Why is everybody so hard on the Celestiq? I have yet to see one in person, but I think it’s quite cool. I think it‘s true to the brand as it used to be, ultra luxurious with grandeur. Sure, could’ve made it not an EV!
well for one the back end is UGLY!
But it's not LUCE-ugly :-D
I would prefer something more traditionally styled but also think Celestiq is cool.
They've been trying to make that blue color a thing. They put it on the nose of the intro 296s.
Rolex Oysterquartz and the KISS Dynasty record.
The Rolex Oysterquartz won several NASCAR races on the wrist of one D. Earnhardt! This thing will be racing to the Mannheim auction.
the real king of nascar has good taste in watches
What do you think a Rolex given to a 24 hr Daytona race winner would go for on the open market?
My comment on the WSJ article:
“The most unfortunate thing is we will have to read journalists' reviews that defend this car, because Ferrari will withhold access to other ICE cars to review if they don't celebrate this EV, and we will have to read about buyers buying it, because Ferrari won't sell you a new sports or hyper car unless you buy the EV first.“
Can you imagine how Camissa and LIEberman are going to glaze this thing to “maintain access”?
Ha. I can’t wait to see your prediction, nay, prophesy come true.
Cammisa's review will be a genuine embarrassment to all involved. Let's hope he stops wearing the prosthetic breasts for this one.
we gotta find the guy who keeps telling him hes funny and smack him
The entire youtube comments section.
The only breasts he's ever experienced
Then it's time to tell Ferrari to fuck all the way off.
Long past time, in fact. The last lustworthy car they made was the F40.
And don't worry about Cammisa - he's used to sucking dick and taking it in the ass.
Disagree. On Ferrari not Cammisa. As a child of the 80s and 90s, I’m all in on the F355, 550, 360, and I’d even dabble with the 458. Basically the end of the gates cars plus the 458.
Spot on!
As a child of the '60s and 70s, I agree with you.
I have been a fan of the 456 since it came out.
Ah yes the Italian Ford Probe. Just kidding. I really love the style of it too, especially in a dark blue.
Damn, now I can’t unsee it! ; )
Sorry! In person a 456 has much more presence than in photos.
I really think Ford’s designers somehow got a sneak peak at Pininfarina’s plans when they designed the 2nd gen Probe.
458 is also the last Pininfarina design before Ferrari took styling in house which was a big mistake IMHO.
"The last lustworthy car they made was the F40"
[EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]
Maybe he'll change his stripes later? https://www.instagram.com/jonnylieberman/p/DYxqnp3kddA/
He's a contractor now, he's no longer a real Motor Trend person, and they have been giving the Ferrari stuff to other people. So this is his bid to follow the crowd without losing much of what he doesn't have.
"Hi! This is Ferrari! You like this ugly embarrassing turd? Well too bad, you will have to buy at least one of these ugly embarrassing turds to get even a chance to buy a semi-desirable Ferrari! F you!"
If I was Dr. Evil I'd buy Ferrari and make two models: a new '80s retro Testarossa, and a minivan. MUHAHAHAHAHA!
Does anyone have the guts to Singer a Testarossa?
It’s been done. https://www.topgear.com/car-news/retro/a-201mph-restomodded-ferrari-testarossa
well ill be damned
this is awfully close to perfect and the mods are done sensibly and to a high level
very nice indeed
The Testarossa is my favorite Ferrari.
I'm not sure we can be friends. The 250 SWB would like a word.
I like all the beautiful Ferraris from the 60’s, but I really like the Testarossa because it’s so outlandish. It’s definitely not as beautiful as the classic Ferraris.
They are magnificent. My only Ferrari to date. Owned a factory black on brown 1985 flying mirror from 2012-2015. Planned to keep it, but when offered double what I had into it, I took the money and bought a like new 2009 997 Turbo. Which I stupidly sold in 2019 just before Covid.
That’s fantastic, you’re a lucky man with good taste! I enjoy Harry Metcalfe’s videos of his.
I would have sold it, too.
To make you feel better, I saw a BMW M1 at a car show full of Mustangs and Camaros in suburban Chicago in the 1990s. I think I was the only one there besides the owner who knew what it was, everyone probably thought it was a kit car.
It was in the back of the car show sitting there all by itself, so I went up to the owner and complimented the car. The owner’s first words to me: “Do you want to buy it?”
The owner only wanted $75k! I had the cash because I was just about to do a home rehab, and in retrospect I should have bought the M1 instead of doing the rehab, but realistically I would have sold it as soon as M1 prices took off.
The big question. What are the undervalued but still cool cars today?
You can’t really Brougham-ize a Ferrari!
Well, now we know for certain!
What the hell were they thinking? Let's make it uglier than the Jag?
I think there is a definite link between heads of government hating their citizens and corporations hating their customers.
It’s a power thing.
Will they really sell any of these? This seems like an emperor's new clothes situation. A hideous appliance with insane performance for ridiculous money.
It’s exactly the Emperors New Clothes. I guess those in power are immune to their inflated self worth.
The Luce will sell to those who think we serfs just don’t have the knowledge or vision or taste to see what only they can see, i.e. their money makes them better than us.
I bet it will sell well in China, which is the market the car was really aimed at.
See: Fender, Bambu Labs. Both companies stepped in their own fecal material by abusing intellectual property rights.
I think IP is one of the things that made the modern world possible, but long ago I realized that powerful owners of IP will use their power to expand their property rights. Sort of like putting up a fence that's outside your property line.
Fender is trying to use a default judgment in a regional court in Germany to establish copyright to the Stratocaster body shape that has already been adjudicated in the U.S. as in the public domain. By threatening small companies, Fender has pissed off just about every guitar player except for the ones with signature guitar deals.
Bambu Labs changed their firmware so people running 3D print farms can't use 3rd party software to manage their printers. In doing so, they provoked the open source community to counterattack because Bambu is violating the open source license under which they publish their own software.
For thee, but not for me.
I had reservations when I bought my Bambu when they introduced their core XY printers, not so much because it wasn't open source but because they obviously wanted you to print via their servers, not over your local network. You can't even see their printers on your LAN without Bambu software. However, my X1C was genuinely the best printer for the money when I bought it, and it has performed exceptionally well.
For my next printer, I'll probably bite the bullet and pay the premium for a Prusa. They're even assembling machines in the U.S. now, in addition to their Prague facilities.
To me it kind of looks like the gm ultralight concept car. They used it in demolition man, which was a movie about how great the future is going to be.
It DOES look like one of those cars in the background in Back to the Future Part II or Demolition Man
Ferrari can’t fail as long as their sales targets of this thing are reasonable, because if they want to make 1000 they can sell a 1000 as Jack mentioned, to the most loyal buyers who want to get the good stuff. Therefore Ferrari better keep the good stuff real good. For the record the recent Ferraris don’t strike me in any way like those of pre-488/F8.
The interior looks like a Tesla. Why can’t Ferrari make a Ferrari interior in this thing? This car could pass as an EV with a mediocre exterior but it should have a FERRARI interior.
$640k. I mean, why the hell not $840k. That sticker price number alone should tell you these things are going to be sold with matching VINs to all the limited stuff from now on.
"Why can’t Ferrari make a Ferrari interior in this thing?" they outsourced the design to China.
It’s pure Apple design.
I just made this connection after watching Luce videos and then asking AI to give me products that look like the Luce. One of the answers was a white box that a previous iMac came in (LOL, sometimes AI can be amusing!), but it also gave me the 1999 Ford 021C concept that was designed by a product designer named Marc Newsom, who had never designed a car before. I had never heard of this guy, since the Ford concept was obscure and he had never designed another car. https://www.petersen.org/vehicle-spotlights/1999-ford-021c
Then on the Luce videos I watched today, I learned that Jonny Ive’s partner in his LoveFrom design company that designed the Luce is ….. Marc Newsom.
Great catch!
I had seen the Petersen video months ago, so when it popped up on AI I looked the car up further, and Marc Newsom’s website appeared.
Then I was watching a great video on the Luce by the Shmee YouTuber Guy, and he mentioned Newsom, so it clicked.
I don’t watch the Shmee channel because I’m not into his shtick and his supercars, however, he is a smart guy, and his Luce video is really great because he can’t believe how bad the car is. And he is a top tier Ferrari customer who gets all the new cars.
Also, he was really critical of Ferrari’s handling of the press reveal. He said it was really distasteful and manipulative . The video is well worth watching for that story and who Ferrari is marketing this car to.
I also am not of fan of Shmee's shtick.
Every word out of Steve’s mouth is wrong, pay him no mind.
this. it is what the Apple car would have looked like had Cook not killed the Apple car.
I thought Jony Ive was the mastermind behind the design. The iPod/iphone was a new thing. Here he has taken the opportunity to make a Ferrari look like every other EV. Without a badge no one would guess this is a Ferrari. It looks like a Jaguar, whatever model is the Waymo car.
It should be white. Then it will look like a generic people mover from some movie about a dystopian future.
The spec on these is going to be dreadful. Most Ferraris I see are red/black or black/black and just a waste when you consider what is possible. This thing is going to be bought and sold at the soonest possible opportunity.
You know, if Ferrari was smart, they would make these things leases, where they can’t be re-sold, so you are stuck making payments on these things for 36 or 48 months, and you can’t get rid of them. That is the only way Ferrari could more humiliate their customers- making them buy this ridiculous $640k Model Y Performance.
Further, an Apple mouse is white so the Luce should be white.
Mine is black
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPuAKVnqJdk
Maclunkey.
Personally I think the interior is the one thing they got right. Thumb their noses at the bigger screen the better crowd. The retro steering wheel and toggle switchgear are really unique and cool touches.
Of course I also think the Celestiq is an incredible design, so what do I know.
SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS
WHY AND HOW
I recall that Lucid lost so much money in a previous year that someone figured out they lost $400k for every Air they sold. That is why $640k.
but i was told electric cars were the way forward
Depends on how forward you intend to go.
Reply of the day. 🤣
Or backward in this case! 🙄
There are Lucid engineers (one or two!) in these comments regularly.
Wisely, they don’t seem to comment on these sorts of allegations.
I won’t comment either except to say that is insane if true.
A friend at church just bought a Lucid Air, the 800ish hp version, for about a 1/3rd of sticker. 3 years old, 30,000 miles. It is a beautiful car.
They’re beautiful and spacious and have presence everything short of an S-class or Bentley Flying Spur won’t possess.
I want one as a corporate lease. I think these are almost 640hp model will do, speed cameras are coming to my town
Because: morons, cretins and simps.
Like gypsies, tramps and thieves. But 2020s verison.
…the men would come around, and lay their money down.
Because they can. Because people will pay it.
That says a lot!
„For the record the recent Ferraris don’t strike me in any way like those of pre-488/F8.“ That‘s because Ferrari cut it‘s ties with Pininfarina. Ever since they did, all cars came out ugly…
THIS!!!
I agree with your first statement about how EV's should be town cars, for local use and travel. My spouse is looking at buying a Slate for that very reason. They don't drive much anymore and they think it'll be fun and with all of the aftermarket stuff you should be able to do with it, it'll be fun to mess with. We've got enough solar panels that charging it will be free, and eventually I'll look into seeing if we can use it as a battery backup for the house.
Also, the price is low.
A lot of folks in Texas buy ATV's (the overgrown golf cart ones) and use them on the streets to go into town and do stuff. It's legal, but you're limited as to what streets you're allowed on (depending mainly on speed limit). I think town car EV's could capture this market if they are made to fit the role that the ATV's are currently used for, if they keep prices down, and they are given interesting and good looking designs (as well as functional).
If the EV makers were smart, they would all be pivoting away from 'highway' and 'long trip' cars to local haulers and commuters. That's the real market. The rest of the market belongs to Tesla, and good luck trying to compete with them!
Look at used Bolts. They are great city EV cars. And probably can find one cheap.
Don't know if Slates are going to come with two way charging to power a house.
I would have loved to gotten one of those “free” Fiat 500e’s to use as a city car.
Same.
They just were never *that* cheap here where I live, and at like even $200/mo it lost all of its luster for me as a funny idea.
They're ugly and you can't customize them.
you can customize anything if you've got a plasma cutter, a welder, and a spray gun :-)
I am reasonably sure the Nissan Leaf does two-way charging.
Absolutely agree this and most all other EV’s should be city cars. There is a use case for them, but this is not what Ferrari should be doing.
Those ATV’s are considered to be Low Speed Vehicles (LSV) here in NC, and a plated LSV can legally drive on roads posted at 35 mph or less.
They don't have to be plated here.
That sounds good and it could work for the more-congested regions of Europe or Asia. But in the US, we have it engrained in our culture that our car should reasonably be able to take us wherever we want to go...even if we'll never leave town in it. More to the point, a car that could only go around town would still cost $12,000+...and there's a finite number of people who would pay that much for such a limited-use thing.
For me, specifically, if I have a car that I can only put around town in, it's going to be something much more fun than a glorified golf kart. Like the 2000 528i 5MT M Sport that I bought in 2022 for $1,000 and recently donated to a friend.
Who in America only has one car?
Fair. The other thing *non-car* people frequently do is try to have all their cars be able to do all of the things. Each car must have three rows, in case either parent has to pick up all the kids at once. Each car must be able to leave town and drive 300+ miles on a tank, because [reasons].
I still don't think too many average people would spend five figures on a vehicle that can only go short distances. Not enough to make it worthwhile. An automaker has to sell an EV as a do-all kind of thing, with the resultant range and therefore curb requirements, in order to price it for even as much as a same-sized ICE car. If they made them round-trip cars with 100 miles of range, still, no one would buy them unless they were very cheap.
Ironically, that's exactly how supercars and especially limited-edition vehicles are treated by most of their owners. They're driven short distances in controlled environments, mostly around town. No one is taking an Artura Speedtail or an SF90 XX Stradale on a 500-mile road trip; it's too valuable.
You can’t buy a new car for anything but 5-figures. So yeah, a lot of them will. Also, all of the two car families I know, the two cars are not at all the same. So I would disagree with you on that point.
Many 2-car families in my neighborhood that have two Odysseys, two Foresters, or two RAV4s. Although, one pickup and one midsize crossover is more common.
The Slate is awesome. Would love to hear about it if you follow through.
Who’s up all night to get Luce?
Like the legend of the phoenix
This thing sucks balls
and much like a phoenix i would like to see it burned to ash
unlike a phoenix i dont want to see it rise again
1: As a Ferrari Product, this thing is an abomination. It's worse that the most generic fan-fic style renders southeast asian kids would draw back in my design school days. It does nothing to further the brand and will be a blot on the brand right up to the point that it sells more actual compelling high end product that they want to gatekeep further. Which, was pointed out. This, like the SUV seems an extension of the "we're publicly listed!" answer for rando investors.
2: If this simply had an apple logo on it, we'd absolutely love EVERY SINGLE THING about this car. It has every bit of brand recognition we'd expect from a tech firm trying to please everyone and stir no loins when looking at it.
3: Aren't we all tired of the numbers on electric everything? Even the slowest is always much quicker in a straight line than their ice siblings. EVs defeating all the numbers tests is the equivalent to turbo ice motors defeating mpg testing. No one should care or believe them anymore.
4: OMG THAT WEIGHT. After Lotus showed that 1100hp pile of crap, I guess it was obvious that everyone was going to get away with flying bricks in this segment.
5: Not even Lewis and his sense of fashion could make this cool. Good thing he'll be a brand ambassador till death. (That's on you buddy... yikes!)
#2: if it was Apple brand and cost around $85k I would agree with you.
Oh yeah, there's some neat things an Apple branded car could do with this. The interior is generally pleasant and future tech oriented. It also is NO WAY it costs above 85k to manufacture.
The Prancing Horse badge adds $600k.
Apple could and probably would happily sell it for $85k and make it a loss leader, then sell the ZEV credits for a fortune.
Are the carbon credits still a thing? That is what kept Tesla in business for years.
The greatness of Apple is that they don’t have loss leaders. They innovate and make everything they sell desirable enough to charge what they want to charge.
5,000 to 6,000 lbs curb weight on wagon wheel sized wheels with rubber band tires. What could go wrong?
Greta Thuneberg logic.
The tires are probably the TRX for the new millennium.
This probably IS the stillborn Apple car… ;-)
I honestly had that thought. This for them is a compliance car, but they're also trying to force prospective buyers to buy crap to get street cred before they will sell them the car they really want. Saves them lots of dev time to just pay for something like this and rebadge it.
Was the first thought I had when I looked at it…
Leonardo Fioravanti would be rolling in his grave if he was dead, but thankfully he’s not, so he’s probably laughing.