100 Comments
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Shortest Circuit's avatar

"It’s possible to be a helpless victim and a predator at the same time." yea, I think I realized that the same time Anthony Bourdain did.

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Scott A's avatar

My buddy sent me a video of a panther eating a crocodile or an alligator. It's like that.

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Amelius Moss's avatar

Ha! I wrote a whole thing before looking at the comments, of course this one is the first I see.

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Speed's avatar

"He put his hand on hers and silently mouthed Karen’s plea"

oh god bro dont do that what are you doing

nowadays you arent supposed to show that you care at all or something

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David Florida's avatar

You and I are parsing this in the same manner. Everywhere and always, she wants YOU to take command. Or so I’ve read.

Okay, I have also lived it, if fifteen years of successful marriage are an indication. I’ll say that it helps if your spouse has goals that you can get behind.

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snavehtrebor's avatar

Love Karen O. Her collab with Danger Mouse, Lux Prima, was also very good.

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S2kChris's avatar

At least Angus presumably wasn’t on a Jumbotron at a Coldplay concert.

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Speed's avatar

imagine cheating on your wife and shes the same age

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Shortest Circuit's avatar

*work* wife!

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Jeff Winks's avatar

That was the most loser thing I’ve seen in some time!

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Jack Baruth's avatar

What? You don't like watching lizards mate?

Going back and reading the PR release on her hiring is extra funny now.

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98horn's avatar
1dEdited

Share that link. My schadenfreude quota is unmet for this quarter. Also: serves him right for going to a coldplay concert. Was Blink182 busy?

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Chuck S's avatar

He really wanted to see Dave Mathews Band

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sgeffe's avatar

An outside lawn venue where picnics were held before the concert, where the ants were marching!

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Chuck S's avatar

Half a lifetime ago I had a girlfriend who was into Dave Mathews Band. I joined her at the concert which was, as you mention, at an outdoor amphitheater. The only other thing I remember about it was we were seated behind a group of lesbians, one of which turned to another and swooned "He's enough to make you go straight."

I am not sure which of the musicians she was referring to but have always assumed it was Dave.

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Jack Baruth's avatar

My brother used to describe the album, and song, "Crash", as

"the official music of fat women who get chosen last and fucked at 3am"

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CJinSD's avatar

Hey! I've seen all three of these bands. I saw Coldplay at an NYC club in 2001, having never heard them before they started playing. I saw the DMB at Trax in the early '90s, when they played every Thursday night as us cool kids lamented what a waste of Boyd Tinsley the DMB was.

When I saw Blink 182 in 1995 at Nutty Monks in Wilmington, they were the unmentioned opening act for three other bands, the headliner being Seven Seconds. It was pretty clear that Blink 182 was the best of the bunch, and we left not long after Seven Seconds started their disappointing first set. It turned out to be one of my better ideas, as a riot broke out as we left the parking lot, and everyone who stayed went to jail or the hospital. Nutty Monk shuttered forever, or so I've been told.

The Dave Matthews Band has always been awful. Say what you want about Coldplay and its malignant frontman, but they put on a good live show in a converted warehouse space with low ceilings. Dave Matthews? My friends and I put up with the band for a summer, as the women who went to see them at Trax were low hanging fruit.

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Boom's avatar

What is the reference here? Someone clue me in.

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Scott A's avatar

Some ceo got caught at a coldplay concert cheating on his wife

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sgeffe's avatar

Yes.

If it was a OneRepublic concert, it would’ve been REALLY too late to apologize!

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TL's avatar

Some more details to paint the scene....

A late 50s - Early 60s CEO got popped up on a "Kiss Cam" at the concert with a similarly aged woman who was also a senior officer at the company. Holding her from behind and very much coping a feel. Would have been a completely ignored "old people get love too" moment.... Except that when he saw himself on cam he dove out of the picture as fast as he could.

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Andy's avatar

That's the funniest ever, he was feeling her up too when the screen lit up. The dude DOVE for the floor, and her assistant was laughing uncontrollably.

It could have been something cooked up by a short seller, but it was so perfect I doubt it.

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S2kChris's avatar

Total lack of chill was amazing. Stand strong, no one noticed or cares. I did a better job when I got caught in 10th grade receiving an OTPHJ on the Ferris wheel from Maggie while dating Allison. “People said you were all over her” “nah, just my arm across the back of the seat, we were just talking” “oh, OK”

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Andy's avatar

Chill you are.

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Jack Baruth's avatar

If he hadn't moved he'd have been fine.

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David Florida's avatar

I was left wondering if the fellow actually knew shame and guilt or if he just fears discovery in Divorce proceedings.

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Jack Baruth's avatar

There's definitely some shame to be had here. He's on his way to being worth nine figures and he's messing around with a woman old enough to remember the first Battlestar Galactica?

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Andy's avatar

But someone in that sordid group likes Coldplay, that's disqualifying by itself IMO.

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S2kChris's avatar

I was at the River Rave, Foxborough Stadium, 2001. Standing room, I’m like 3 rows from the front. Some genius puts Coldplay between American HiFi and Dropkick Murphy’s. In Massachusetts. Coldplay is bleating along, and a high school kid next to me whips a water bottle at the lead singer. Goes off his forehead.

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Crabspirits's avatar

My roommate went to see them at the height of their fame. I didn't go because I had already dubbed them "elevator music of the future". When he came back, he told me they played "Clocks" for the 2nd time as an unsolicited encore, which gave me a mental image that made me laugh for 5 straight minutes.

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April's avatar
1dEdited

In Canada the original BSG pilot was released in theaters as a movie! So, I live in a weird alternate universe where BSG is my Star Wars.

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Jack Baruth's avatar

Thats a GREAT universe.

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TL's avatar

That happened in the US too. What I remember about that theater experience was how LOUD the rumble of the spaceships was. The theater I saw it in had set out extra speakers around the stage (old place that was set up for plays and concerts in addition to movies) like they would for a concert. Dialog was all at normal movie volumes, but whenever they switched to a space scene the ship engine rumble would shake the place.

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Chuck S's avatar

I think the *real* shame was being spotted at a Coldplay concert

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TL's avatar

"and he's messing around with a woman old enough to remember the first Battlestar Galactica"

Ouch. That strikes too close to home.

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Sherman McCoy's avatar

Best thing that ever happened to that company

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Scott A's avatar

I thought this was something in the post i missed!

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John Van Stry's avatar

Back in the 70's I was lucky enough to be sitting outside of a room in which an old family friend was then talking with the VP of Capitol Records (who lived in our neighborhood). I sat there for like an hour, keeping my mouth shut (I was just a teenager) and wow, did I learn things. About contracts, about famous musicians, the Beatles, Springstein, and a whole lot more.

Yeah, they always offer the sucker contract first. So never go without your lawyer. Or tell them you need to show it to your lawyer.

If they balk you shouldn't be talking to them. Capital never balked, but he talked about just how many people, famous people, just couldn't wait to sign on the dotted line and got screwed for life.

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S2kChris's avatar

There was a long segment on this on Rogan with Jewel of all people. Really was a very interesting podcast.

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David Florida's avatar

I’m running out of clear thoughts after reliving my past, so let’s just go with a list:

0: something something fedoras, shots, unfiltered Camels, and Sinatra on the jukebox; folks from that generation sometimes told me that you can’t really “grow up” until you’ve had your heart broken.

1: Maybe what’s new is that guys are acting like chicks, mouthing their lyrics in an attempt to be understood.

1A: Anyone read that Adam Carolla book, “In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks?” I haven’t, because I sorta fear it’s actually prophecy.

2: Concrete Blonde, ‘Joey.’ If Johnette had written that thirty years earlier, Sinatra and Nelson Riddle’s version would have been a hit as well.

3: That’s enough; now I want a few hours with an old friend and a pint of bourbon, and it’s only Thursday afternoon!

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Terry Murray's avatar

I think the movie Idiocracy is more prophetic.

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Amelius Moss's avatar

Tell your friend to bring his own pint.

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David Florida's avatar

Lol. With age I have become a complete lightweight, but I might need some tomorrow!

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Wyatt LCB's avatar

I gotta know what that girl's reaction was.

Was it positive and you left that out to make a point? Or was it neutral/negative, therefore you didn't need to mention it?

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Jack Baruth's avatar

She's a reader. Maybe she'll say here!

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98horn's avatar

That young gentleman needs to harness the POWER OF NEXT. Yes I read it in one day. Amazing.

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Donkey Konger's avatar

Did someone say "heads will roll?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTScaFIAtzo

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Speed's avatar

me and the boys when the panzerschokolade starts hitting

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Scott A's avatar

I had a buddys whose ex left him for a dude she met on world of warcraft. This was 20 years ago

And anyone who feels on the verge of being un-chosen knows what he wants to say.

Your only hope in this situation is to leave first! Go dark for a bit. She probably won't come around, but she might vs certain death.

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Joe griffin's avatar

Married 38 years, not a fun trip, but the fur babies are loved.

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Steve Ward's avatar

"Now people are getting picked up on LinkedIn" Oh. Dear. God.

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Scott A's avatar

God: I gave them free will

Jesus: https://memes.com/m/you-did-what-b_41V7rN8EV

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sgeffe's avatar

I always wonder where in God’s name people come up with some hilarious memes in response to an Email or text, seemingly at the drop of a hat!

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Scout_Number_4's avatar

I guess I’m the only one here that has never heard this song before today. Doing the math, though, I realize it came out during that blank time When my son was a baby…

I really like your analysis on this Jack. Please give us more of these whenever the mood strikes.

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Scott A's avatar

I have also never heard this song before today.

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Dave Ryan's avatar

First time I ever heard it, too.

I was better off.

Think I’ll listen to some Black Sabbath to cleanse the palate. “Snowblind” should do it.

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Chuck S's avatar

Master of Reality, along with Judas Priest's "Stained Class," established the template for just about every possible genre of metal that followed.

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Dave Ryan's avatar

I’m definitely a Judas Priest fan; but Sabbath is on another level musically.

Priest was the loudest concert I ever attended. It was a couple days before the hearing was all the way back. That was a great show! Powerful, kick ass rock and roll. They lost me with the Screaming for Vengeance album. Almost seemed self parody from then on.

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Chuck S's avatar

Screaming for Vengeance is where I got on the Judas Priest train, and for the longest time I didn't wander beyond British Steel, Point of Departure ("Heading Out to the Highway" is a killer tune, even if the video is laughably bad) and Screaming. Turbo and Defenders were ... meh, and nothing since has piqued my interest.

I quit listening to Judas Priest in the 90s and didn't think about them for about 20 years, when I picked up Screaming in a fit of nostalgia. I pretty quickly thought, "What did I see in this?" and put the band aside again.

When Priest released Firepower in 2018, Angry Metal Guy (a fantastic metal reviews site) did a "worst to first" list of every album. Sad Wings of Destiny topped the list, and the write-up piqued my interest, so I bought a copy. Holy hell it's great. That led me to Stained Class, which is equally stellar.

I've still got a soft spot for British Steel - the riffs are epic and the album was instrumental in shaping the 80s metal sound - and I've got a copy of Screaming, but it's Sad Wings and Stained Class that I return to.

As to Black Sabbath, Paranoid, Master of Reality, and Sabotage provide my fill of the Ozzy era, mostly because I've never ventured much beyond the canonical work. (The first album does nothing for me, though I appreciate its significance.) I like Heaven and Hell a lot (Dio was a fantastic singer, which makes up for the focus on swords and sorcery in his lyrics), but Mob Rules felt like a retread.

A lot of people will scoff at this, but I think Sabbath stands alongside the likes of the Beatles and The Rolling Stones in the rock pantheon simply because of its influence and impact. How many bands are almost universally credited with starting an entirely new genre of music? There are, depending upon who's counting and how they're doing the tallying, some 70 subgeneres of metal. Every one of traces its origin to Black Sabbath.

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Dave Ryan's avatar

I’ve always been partial to British Steel and Point of Entry— even though they were panned as too commercial. (The Breaking the Law video is probably worse than Heading out to the Highway, by the way.)

N.I.B. is one of my Sabbath favorites— and it’s on the first album. All the Ozzy albums have some good stuff. Definitely take another listen to Vol. 4. Trust me.

Dio, unbelievable voice. Peak Dio for me will always be Man on the Silver Mountain. Holy shit! The way he belts out “silver”— damn.

I do not scoff at your thoughts regarding Sabbath’s place in music history. Completely agree.

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Chuck S's avatar

I'm a wheel, I'm a wheel / I can roll, I can feel!

I agree... peak Dio right there. I'll add Neon Knights and Rainbow in the Dark.

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Gianni's avatar

A funk band out of Austin did a funked up cover album of Sabbath songs called Brown Sabbath. It’s quite good. Snowblind:

https://youtu.be/h0icI4kAHG0?si=qqUzjBAplbPqekwl

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Dave Ryan's avatar

If they lost the horns I would be on board.

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Gianni's avatar

Then wouldn’t they be just another “tribute” band entertaining boomers at the casino?

Then there is Mac Sabbath:

https://youtu.be/xhFmM0LX-MQ?si=u534ntc5UnTm8yCj

The guitarist, Slayer McCheese cracks me up.

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Dave Ryan's avatar

I’m 64, and I despise tribute bands and casinos.

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sgeffe's avatar

I don’t care for cover bands in general!

Lord knows I have enough trouble hearing others at my restaurant table WITHOUT the live band making a complete mockery of whatever it is they’re attempting to play!

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Wyatt LCB's avatar

Thanks for sharing, those guys kick ass!

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0020's avatar

I thought this would be about maps and cartophiles.....

Haven't heard of the song but listening to it reminded me of Interpol for some reason.

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linearphase's avatar

A bit different situation, but Petty in "American Girl" sang:

And for one desperate moment there

He crept back in her memory

God, it's so painful, something that's so close

Is still so far out of reach

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JasonS's avatar

I consider myself relatively in-tune to music, especially of the 00s to the mid teens, and I can say I've never heard this song in my life, el o el.

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Amelius Moss's avatar

I think most of us here don't recognize it, this must be the kind of stuff Jack was singing in the shower trying to raise his voice an octave or three.

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Jack Baruth's avatar

Lower, you mean.

You've heard my voice!

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Boom's avatar

I hope so.

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Scott A's avatar

Ribbit ribbit

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Sherman McCoy's avatar

“I love a parade!” - Mickey Mouse

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Speed's avatar

professional jordan peterson impersonator

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