Nobody's Asked Me What I Want For My Birthday... And A New Website Feature

...but this is probably it.

It occurs to me that somehow I've gotten through about five hundred posts on this site without really explaining the whole squid/Squidco/Calamarco/Kraken pseudo-mythology surrounding my life. I'll get right on that for the none of you who care.

In the meantime, let's try out the newest feature on this amazing website: polling!

About halfway down the right side of the page you'll see that we have a test poll, asking you to choose my next softball bat. No, I'm not currently playing in a league, although I might play co-rec next year because hey, I'm not busy enough as it is. I thought about testing the polling system with a sure-fire response-getter like:

Black Lives: Do They Really Matter Like The Hashtag Says?

Mustang Or Camaro?

Should Hatred Be Directed At The Game Itself, Or The Player Of That Game?

but it seemed safer to start with a decision of little consequence. So. Which bat to buy: We have a few contenders:

The DeMarini Kraken: This is a new carbon-fiber limited-edition bat made in America, featuring a Kraken. Pros: features Kraken. Cons: $299, must be rotated between hits, may not be used for batting practice.

The Miken Freak 52: No longer in production and hard to find, but it's built to the old specs of the ASA instead of the new USSSA specs, meaning it hits harder and farther. Made in the USA. Pros: lime green, cheater bat. Cons: might not be allowed to use it in games, expensive it I can find it.

Carl Rose Powercell: My existing softball bat is an old Worth Carl Rose, like the black-and-red one fourth from the top in the above photo. These bats are apparently legendary as "the hottest single-wall bats of 1994" or something like that. I bought it because somehow my Easton Ultra Lite disappeared when I moved back home from university. Wish I knew where that Ultra Lite was. The Carl Rose is very old and tired. Pros: already paid for it, back in what we'll call the Bill Clinton Administration. No actual reason to replace it. Cons: not lime green, no carbon fiber content, features absolutely no line drawings of the mighty Kraken

Alright, would-be participants in this democratic process, for what are you waiting? Get the you-know-what out of your throat and go vote!