In The Blood
John Mayer's "The Search For Everything" has been released in its entirety. This is probably the standout track. Neither musically complicated nor particularly suited for Mayer's range, it is nonetheless likely to stir the strongest emotions in its listeners. Lyrics and thoughts below.
How much of my mother has my mother left in me? How much of my love will be insane to some degree? And what about this feeling that I'm never good enough? Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?
How much of my father am I destined to become? Will I dim the lights inside me just to satisfy someone? Will I let this woman kill me, or do away with jealous love? Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?
I can feel love the I want, I can feel the love I need But it's never gonna come the way I am Could I change it if I wanted, can I rise above the flood? Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?
How much of my brothers, do my brothers wanna be? Does a broken home become another broken family? Or will we be there for each other, like nobody ever could? Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?
I can feel love the I want, I can feel the love I need But it's never gonna come the way I am Could I change it if I wanted, can I rise above the flood? Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?
I can feel love the I want, I can feel the love I need But it's never gonna come the way I am Could I change it if I wanted, can I rise above the flood? Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?
This isn't the first time Mayer has written about his parents and their divorce --- a few years ago, he noted that he "got a mom / got a dad / but they do not have each other" --- but it's the first time he has suggested that his inability to commit to a relationship might be inherited. I can sympathize with him, but I'm also reminded of something I read a while back: by the time a man reaches thirty-five he no longer has a right, or a reason, to blame his parents for anything. Nowadays, whenever I am tempted to whine about my childhood I try to take that energy and put it into making my son's experience better than mine was. What's past is prologue, but what's future is... fixable, right?