149 Comments
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Sam's avatar

Am I the only one who is surprised this tractor didn't cost more?

My farming knowledge is limited to what I have learned watching Clarkson's Farm, but reading this review makes me want my own land to cultivate, well written.

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Mozzie's avatar

I for sure was expecting to see another comma.

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Jack Baruth's avatar

I think it's kind of like how a 3/4 ton truck doesn't cost much more than a half-ton, and a 1-ton truck is $1000 extra over the 3/4 ton... but the next size up REALLY costs more.

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Your Name's avatar

Yeah I’m 100% pricing out ag land like right now.

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Sherman McCoy's avatar

They can be very expensive, particularly when you get into commercial / large scale farming, which is often accompanied by creative / long term financing.

I have a friend who worked for a family office that bought a dealership group of about 16 John Deere stores in Nebraska / Kansas / Colorado; he was parachuted into the dealership group and is now an operating / strategy executive. It’s a very interesting business.

I was all set to facilitate some banking relationships that would have extended warehouse lines to fund a largely dormant used tractor leasing program (to the tune of ~$100MM or so) when the family office bought the dealership group. At the conclusion of the board meeting during which this opportunity was under discussion, I eagerly took a call from my friend, who is also the General Counsel. He informed me that things had “hit a snag,” since the seller’s son’s childhood best friend - who had been in charge of the leasing business until recently - had been arrested the day before for cocaine trafficking! And there went my 2.5% fee on ~$100MM! But that’s a story for another time.

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Sam's avatar

Cool story bro.

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Nplus1's avatar

Every Sherman comment: I was smoking cigars with a friend whose brother's private equity firm has a big stake in pickle pornography. I spent some time trying to put a deal together to roll up the cucumber market. Would have netted me a lot of $35 cheeseburgers but then the guy had to get caught with a zucchini on his way back across the border!

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Sherman McCoy's avatar

If only you knew!

So many deals die for a zillion bizarre reasons.

The cocaine trafficker who picked my pocket for 50% (house split) of ~$2.5MM (pretax) was probably the worst in recent memory. I was all set to buy an 812 Superfast in PTS “John Deere Green,” alas…

“And the whole town said that it should've been red

But it looked good to Sherman

In John Deere Green”

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Scott's avatar

Yes. $30k these days barely gets you something you could call a tractor. Probably no front loader either unless you go Rural King (no idea about their product, just see them sitting in the parking lot in front of the store). Back in the good old days (~2010) when things depreciated I bought my 2000s New Holland TC33DA for $10k. It was about 10 years old, overkill for mowing 3 acres but it is hilly here and garden tractors just won’t do. Back then the glorified garden tractor JD 1023r was $12k with a small loader and mower attachment, but would have been way too small and would have had me looking again shortly.

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Colin's avatar

If one is shopping used, and one is so inclined, one can drive to central Canadia and get them used for about 30% less, and then one can drive them back home to the land of the free and the home of the recently landed

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Scott's avatar

Maybe on a six figure piece of machinery. When my tractor needs the attention I cannot provide (not often) the dealer comes and gets it because I don’t have any way of transporting it. I don’t know about going to central Canada and hauling a tractor home, lol. Not much in life intimidates me, but that would do it.

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Colin's avatar

I haven’t done it, but I have access to kijiji and CL and FBmarketplace. I tried to get my brother to do it when he was complaining about the cost of a skid steer in central TX, they are 15-20k cheaper up north. Who knows why? Recently he says he would just do the 0% from Kubota…

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Dave Ryan's avatar

Sam is correct, very well written. Read the whole thing, even though the subject matters not to me. All I need are my old Toro (not even self propelled) mower, a string trimmer and some hedge clippers. Hell, I usually use my grandfather’s old heavy shears on the small trees/bushes.

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Mozzie's avatar

Thank you for adding descriptions of the various parts. Switching to a search page every other paragraph would have been annoying.

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John Van Stry's avatar

Thanks for the info, I know a little about the smaller ones, and nothing at all about the larger ones.

I've got 6 acres, 5 of it gets cut (ZTM - a large one). But I've thought about getting one of those brushhog type attachments for my neighbor's tractor for the back 4, which gets cut separately.

Though I have thought about one of those dual deck jobs to make it even faster :-)

Takes about an hour and a half to do the 4 in the back.

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Rich J's avatar

I started to really enjoy cutting the lawn some years back (for a mundane task, it's enjoyable, gives you a chance to listen to music for a while while looking busy, and when you are done, you can really appreciate your accomplishment with a beer on the porch), and got progressively more into various aspects (sharpening blades, wider or more powerful mowers, etc.), so doing it faster didn't become a big issue until moving to Georgia where the yard was big. Next level stuff with the tractor, but still really enjoy grass maintenance--maybe something about switching off for a bit.

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Sherman McCoy's avatar

As I recall, you are in Hart County, right?

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Rich J's avatar

Yes, that's the place.

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Sherman McCoy's avatar

My father’s lake house was in Reed Creek, near T23.

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Rich J's avatar

Reed Creek is where it's at.

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DataDriven's avatar

Great review, you are right about them being a gateway. I started off buying a friend's old 9N years ago because it was cheap. Last year I moved out to 25 acres and have three tractors (only 54 and 55hp plus a 1023e for the girlfriend) and an excavator. Most expensive cheap item I've ever purchased.

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Rich J's avatar

Excavator...mmmmm. If I won the lottery, a bar gun for soda, a slurpee machine (the Dr Pepper at the Racetrack down here is supreme), a hose / gun that squirts that meat-like stuff from taco bell, and a decent sized excavator, for sure.

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AK47isthetool's avatar

A man who likes to live mas!

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MaintenanceCosts's avatar

I am as city as human beings get and still enjoyed reading this (and learned a lot from it). Bravo.

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Boom's avatar

This was a good read..

The reason why your tractor doesn't have the extra emissions complexities is because the regulations start with the BIG engines and trickle down from there. Don't be surprised if the same ones 2-5 model years later have DEF and the need to do stationary regens.

Europe has no jurisdiction in the US, if you want to blame someone, blame CARB.

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Speed's avatar

i blame carb for anything anyway

i know a few guys that had def deletes made for their tractors and hope they remain unbothered by the govt for that

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Ice Age's avatar

Yes, because just like with China, American (?) companies want access to that huge California market.

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Colin's avatar

Maybe Jack will correct me, but CA used to be something like 40% of the entire car market. Thinking about that now it seems like no way, but it’s way more than 1/50. And since we grow like half the food, I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re a huge chunk of the tractor market too.

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Rich J's avatar

It's still not clear to me where the actual regs on DEF / regeneration start, the older smaller John Deere goes into regen mode regularly, and you can't shut it down until it's done smelling like hot brakes for an hour or so, thus I was very surprised that this one got a pass. The similar sized New Holland required DEF. Like Speed, I blame CARB for most of the fun and utility reduction in the automotive and adjacent world anyway.

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Boom's avatar

I'm not intimately familiar with the off highway regulations, which is what these would fall under, but there is generally a phase in allowance for manufacturers that can be applied across their product lines when new regulations kick in. Say 30% in the first year, 60% in the second year and 100% in the third year.

Depending on which products Deere and Holland found easier to bin in which group, or whether there were extra credits on offer for early phase in, they may have staggered their products to become more shitty earlier or not.

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Ice Nine's avatar

I believe the emissions regs that require SCR ( using def) don’t apply to engines below 75 hp. Thus the 74.5hp engine ratings.

Emission deletes for anything and everything can be had all day long in Canada. EPA and those fucksticks at CARB have zero jurisdiction there.

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Boom's avatar

That would make sense, but I assure you the exemptions are temporary, they will keep sweeping more and more products into the constricting regs.

As for Canada, they're idiots, all they do is wait for an extra 3-5 years and copy the EPA regs.

In short enjoy it while it lasts. This is also partly why the 600cc sportbike class is dead, and high revving engines are non-existent.

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Speed's avatar

"As for Canada, they're idiots"

honestly you could end the sentence here and apply it to most things

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Henry C.'s avatar

How difficult is it to dismantle this stuff?

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Speed's avatar

sometimes its as easy as replacing the def filter and welding in a length of pipe

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Boom's avatar

There are supposed to be diagnostics that detect this mod and cripple the vehicle, but I wouldn't be surprised if there weren't for first gen after treatments.

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Speed's avatar

thats what i was thinking

the easy part is cutting it out but the trick is getting the electronics to work properly afterwards

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Boom's avatar

And they won't, not unless you have an aftermarket controller or can hack the software on the OEM one like HP tuners..

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Speed's avatar

extremely annoying

thanks carb

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Harry's avatar

You can run a tractor on dyed diesel right? Isn't that still relatively high sulphur and bad for the emissions stuff?

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Boom's avatar

Not anymore, it's the same..

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Rich J's avatar

It recommends low sulfur diesel--which is all I can get around here anyway, so sort of a moot point, I guess.

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MD Streeter's avatar

"This is a splined extension of the driveshaft extending from where the tractor’s anus would be."

Don't let Speed near it. (sorry, Speed)

I felt pretty awesome last year with my brand new Ariens two-stage snowblower. It works beautifully on our 100 foot long driveway and I'm hoping for a winter where I get to use it a lot more often. But my neighbor across the street has a tractor (probably subcompact) with a GIANT snowblower attachment for the front. Being kind of a nerd with few outdoors-y skills, I never knew I wanted a tractor until I saw that thing. We only have a half an acre, though, so I could never convince my wife to go overkill on one of those things a la Jeremy Clarkson's Lambo, but it's nice to dream.

Anyway, fun article. I wasn't sure I was going to stick with it, but it kept my attention all the way through. If you buy a bigger one, I'll read about that, too, and then daydream about using a similar one to mow my whole yard in 10 minutes.

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Speed's avatar

the fuck did i do

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MD Streeter's avatar

So long as you don't try to wrestle with it that tractor's anus is probably okay. But you know, better safe than sorry.

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Speed's avatar

bruh

did i miss a part of my own lore or something

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MD Streeter's avatar

We had that judo discussion last week... or was it two weeks ago? I've been busy having teeth pulled and doing other uncomfortable things.

EDIT: not judo, but jiu jitsu maybe...

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Speed's avatar

how did you go from jujitsu to trying to fuck a tractor

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MD Streeter's avatar

If we can revisit this tomorrow, I might have something funny to say. Unfortunately I'm drawing a blank right now, I wasn't prepared for it to go this far.

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Harry's avatar

The question, as I understand it, is how did YOU get involved with tractor butt sex.

I pretend not to like family guy cutaway jokes, but this is a fantasticly random part of my day.

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Wyatt LCB's avatar

I think he's referencing the joke you made about not being as straight as you thought after doing some sweaty floor rolling with other dudes. I'm actually laughing pretty hard at all of this, thanks fellas

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Chuck S's avatar

ask Ray Wert.

(that's mostly for Jack; I seem to recall Jalopnik under Wert running wild with that dragons fucking cars meme a dozen or so years ago.)

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Ice Age's avatar

"Tractor's Anus" sounds like a great name for one of those "country" bands where the members all look like white versions of MS-13 gangsters.

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Colin's avatar

Saw a great meme the other day waxing eloquent about how Kid Rock is theme music for methheads and folks that steal catalytic converters.

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Chuck S's avatar

always here for a Wire reference. nicely played.

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Speed's avatar

ive never even seen the wire lol

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David Florida's avatar

Starting to think missing almost all of that was a mistake.

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Christo's avatar

Strongly recommend. Probably one of the best cop shows in TV; maybe even one of the best shows ever. A real case study on why big cities are so dysfunctional.

Each of the five seasons has a different theme and can stand on its own, but there's continuity across seasons and characters return in later seasons.

Subscribe to a month of HBO and binge it.

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Flashman's avatar

I second the recommendation, but the shows are a full hour in length and there are 10 of them per season, so bingeing isn’t satisfying. I’m halfway through Season 3 and watch one per week to better appreciate them. They are perfect for the cynics on ACF.

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sgeffe's avatar

Three seasons in da UP: July, August, and winter! 😂😂😂

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MD Streeter's avatar

We're about to get an extra taste of August this week!

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MrFixit1599's avatar

I've had both. The tractor/blower combo was nice. Maneuvering it was a challenge. I preferred the snow blower. Much more maneuverable, and built for one purpose.

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Bill Kinnon's avatar

It's probably an age thing (I'm older than dirt), but this is one of my favourite posts on ACF. I may need to sell our 1 acre lake place and move further north to a bigger acreage on a small lake. (We're on the South Shore of Lake Simcoe in Ontario.) #TractorDreams

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Sir Morris Leyland's avatar

I don't doubt that Lake Simcoe has its charms, but more and more of us are quite happy in and around the Avoidable Contact District of Possum Lake.

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Rich J's avatar

It's truly rewarding, and having the space is tremendous.

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Flashman's avatar

Geez, if you have a 1-acre lakefront place on south Simcoe you could sell it and buy an entire lake in Muskoka.

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Bill Kinnon's avatar

Well, maybe not Muskoka. :)

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Flashman's avatar

Haliburton?

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Bill Kinnon's avatar

Perhaps. Or the Kawarthas. But it's hard to beat being an hour from Toronto (when traffic is good). So the tractor is probably a pipedream. Sigh.

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Grant's avatar

I spent the morning mowing trails and starting work on a private shooting range on a Mahindra 1626. Then I got in the Miata and went for lunch and ice cream. Hard to say which I enjoyed more. Both could benefit from a functional roof and air conditioning.

Agree on hydraulic grapples. Perhaps the handiest thing I’ve ever bought after the tractor itself.

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TL's avatar

Great. Another article feeding my irrational desire for a tractor. I live on a suburban lot with an HOA, yet I have a deep desire to buy a few dozen acres for the express purpose of justifying a tractor purchase. Wife says it is my genetic heritage coming out.

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Jack Baruth's avatar

The natural masculine desire to have a grapple attachment!

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Peter Collins's avatar

Yes, absolutely! Gotta get a grip on slippery things...

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Rich J's avatar

It's built in!

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-Nate's avatar

The *instant* I saw the grapple I flashed back to logging in the woods in New Hampshire in the 1960's, we'd have loved to have such a useful tool .

-Nate

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Wyatt LCB's avatar

SAME HERE

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Grant's avatar

All desires for a tractor are rational.

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Speed's avatar

agricultural combines forever

my only real tractor experience was ripping around on one of those small diesel tractors around an aircraft hanger in quebec transporting grey water that had been used to clean the pipes in a 737

fun times

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S2kChris's avatar

My FIL has a JD 3320 for working on his hunting land and general fuckery. He’s got a backhoe, front loader, rear mower deck, snowblower, rake, and some other odds and ends for it. He is very much the “I’m smart enough to earn the money to pay for it so I’m the smartest guy at using it” mentality which often manifests itself in various humorous ways given the relative hillbillies who surround us up there, all of whom grew up on the damned things. I’ve used it a number of times for various chores, but given his level of “everyone is an idiot but me” instruction, I try to avoid it unless he’s not around.

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soberD's avatar

My last time in a backhoe (my limited heavy equipment experience is forklift and wheeled bobcat) all the training I got was 'don't flip it over, it's rented'. I almost flipped it twice in 5 minutes and got out.

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Sir Morris Leyland's avatar

"What without How" would be a good motto for a bad educational institution. I don't know if "Quod sine Quomodo" would be an acceptable translation...but at a bad school, who cares?

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Speed's avatar

theyre just gonna pronounce it quad sign quasimodo anyway

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Rich J's avatar

Would look nice on the garage wall

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Harry's avatar

Weekly feature on tractors, skidsteers, telescoping loaders and similar requested!

This article would have helped me a lot 10 years ago when I bought a home on a 15 acre lot in upstate New York. I was completely out to sea on what to get to maintain it and bought a lot of inadequate stuff.

I have since moved into a town on fewer acres, and just use BLM land for the things I needed to do on my own land in NY.

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Speed's avatar

"just use BLM land"

holy shit they have their own property now

dei initiatives have gone too far

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Frank White's avatar

Perfect. When that all went down our joke was "why are these fuckers rioting over public land all of the sudden?"

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Ice Age's avatar

Of course they do.

You don't think that money they extorted from various city governments went to haul poor black people out of the hood, do you?

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VTNoah's avatar

Sounds like a solid rig. I've got a Kubota B3200 and describing it as your unemployed friend who lives behind the garage is very apt. Love having it around when I need it. Not sure I'd want to move to a place with more than my 4 acres due to the sheer amount of work needed to maintain but more power to you if you're into it!

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Rick T.'s avatar

"before adding...25 gallons of water and antifreeze in each rear tire..." Wait whut?!?

Seriously, a great read. I love my 8 acres of mature woods on a TN ridgetop which only requires a small self-propelled lawnmower and backpack blower for routine mechanical chores. But I sometimes wonder if 20 acres of flatland would have been more interesting with the opportunities mentioned in the article.

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Jack Baruth's avatar

In a perfect world, we would all have both.

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Colin's avatar

100%. Otherwise how am I supposed to get 187yd shots on 8pt bucks?

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Rich J's avatar

Most tractor tires these days will accommodate what the dealers refer to as 'hydro', which is basically filling them partially with water mixed with antifreeze (so they don't flomp around in the winter, I guess) to increase the weight and keep the CG low. Unlike cars, it's a good think to have a lot of mass when lifting and moving heavy things. I was truly surprised by how much excavators weigh--even the minis can approach 4-5 tons.

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Ice Nine's avatar

Excavators are considered mini up to about 8 ton weight.

I own a “medium” excavator that weighs 60,000 lbs. it’s good for the jobs I use it for, but even that is a toy compared to the real excavators.

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