Christmas Eve ORT: Battleship Potrumpkin, Scats And Cats, Departures, Find A PT

Merry Christmas to the ACFers who celebrate! Your enthusiastic support of Cat Tales literally across the globe, from the USA to Europe to South Asia, has made it a very happy holiday for me. Early indications are that I could earn literally hundreds of dollars from the success of this book. I promise to spend the money irresponsibly.

I know a lot of us have a lot of time on our hands today and tomorrow, so I will be pinning your topics for discussion as well. If time permits and there is interest, there will be a Christmas OT as well. Let’s keep chatting throughout the holidays.

Also — I saw the above picture in a BBC story on cars being towed in Mayfair. It’s an absolutely lovely Phantom Coupe from the eight-year run on the original V12 BMW/RR platform. If anyone out there wants to give me a Christmas gift I would never forget… I will accept a Phantom Coupe in any color but especially a frisky color like the one above.

One final note. The holidays can be unpleasant for some of us. If you’re in a bad place, as the kids say, please reach out to me via email or Substack chat. Each one of you is important to me.

Never mind the Yamato, here’s the Defiant

We had a short but lively discussion here on ACF recently about whether the Scharnhorst and Gneisnau were battleships, “pocket battleships”, or battlecruisers. This discussion can now resume under quite unlikely circumstances, as the newly-announced USS Defiant is going to be… about Scharnhorst-sized, and considerably smaller than Goliaths like Bismarck, Iowa, or Yamato. It’s also very different from traditional battleships in terms of armament, being built around missiles and with an explicit focus on nuclear capability.

As part of the “Golden Fleet” plan, the “Trump-class” battleships will help replace capabilities that will be lost with the retirement of Ticonderoga-class cruisers and Ohio-class boomer subs. The most exciting part of the design is the railgun, which is speculated to be able to make impactful hits at 110 miles or beyond. but there will also be high-intensity lasers.

The optics of naming the ship class after a sitting President are, uh, awful, but the fact is that the Navy desperately needs new hulls and anything that helps achieve this goal should be on the table. Hell, they’re naming the new carriers after President Ford, who was probably the second worst President to serve between 1968 and 1980. It’s worth noting that unlike the Ford-class carriers, these ships will be conventionally powered. Supposedly that is so they can be built in a hurry.

I’m personally excited about the idea of helping the US Navy, which is being out-built something like a literal fifty-to-one by China, get some more boats in the water. I don’t think that two Trump-class battleships, or twenty of them, can prevent China from unifying with Taiwan. Those of you who are students of history are also aware that the battleship, as a concept, was rendered obsolete by air power before any ACF reader except possibly Toly, was born. This ain’t that kind of battleship, but it’s still a controversial choice.

Maybe the railgun will make these ships carrier-killers. If so, then the world is about to see another realignment in what sea power means, similar to what happened during World War II. From what I’ve read, you get two different capabilities. The first is a Mach 5 impact from over a hundred miles out, with little to no chance of interception or jamming. The second: six-second direct fire shots to the limit of the horizon.

The high-energy laser armament suggests, as well, that someone is thinking about defeating drone swarms. It seems reasonable to assume that any Chinese invasion of Taiwan would be accompanied by several million drones, some of which would fan out to prevent the USA from interceding from the Pacific.

The best possible way to handle an invasion of Taiwan, of course, would be to relocate all important manufacturing capacity to the United States well in advance of said invasion, but given a choice between doing that and literally reinventing the battleship, you just know what the lizards will pick, right?

Chargers can charge, Durangos can go wild

Stellantis has pulled a couple of interesting moves with the Dodge Charger for the upcoming model year, which will be 2027 for EVs. The $12k MSRP cuts for 2025 have been effectively reversed; the new Daytona Scat Pack will be $72,995 for a 670-hp EV. What do you get for the extra money? Really, only this: the Tesla charging port.

Even more important: Stellantis has negotiated Supercharger access starting in 2026. Older Charger EVs can use an adapter, but this agreement is particularly nice for owners of the 2027 Charger, who can just plug and charge like a Tesla.

This re-positions the Charger Daytona Scat Pack as something between a Model 3 Performance at $54,990 and a Model S Plaid at $104,990:

Model 3 Performance: 11.0@125mph

Daytona Scat Pack: 11.7@119mph

Model S Plaid: 9.4@151mph

Why choose the Dodge over the Teslas? Well, it’s nicer inside, it’s better-looking, it’s built to industry standards of fit and finish, and you can get it as a quite lovely two-door. In many parts of the country, the Dodge will also be easier to get serviced.

The lower-trim, lower-output Charger R/T will be discontinued.

Meanwhile, here’s what we all really want:

Just like that, thanks. Two doors, 550 horsepower from the Hurricane. Nature is healing.

Other exciting Dodge news: the Durango Hellcat is now available in all 50 states and can be heavily customized via the “Jailbreak” program.

If you’ve ever wanted to drop as much as $98k on a car that traces its engineering back to the Bush Administration, now’s the time. And why not?

Goodbye to all that

The Nissan Versa has been discontinued; it was the last car sold in the United States for less than $20,000. The Volvo V60 Cross Country will be discontinued shortly; it was the last true wagon built by Volvo.

There are some great deals out there on stick-shift used Versas, like this one with 39,000 miles for $10k. Here’s a 2024 with 12,000 miles for $16,700. These are modest vehicles but you could do a lot worse; I know an idiot who has nearly twelve grand into a Lexus ES300 that just seized its right front caliper. Thank God for Rock Auto and Christmas Eve delivery.

Help this ACFer find a… PT Cruiser?

A reader messages me:

Looking out for a clean PT Cruiser with a 5-speed (because I need a manual in my life) clean, running smooth, 100,000 miles on the odo is OK as long as it’s mechanically sound with no leaks. GT turbo a plus. I actually do not want a low mileage garage queen. This will be kept outside to bang around town and occasionally to drive to work. Eventually I want to teach my boys how to drive stick and it would be used for that purpose. If one exists, I’d be willing to spend 3-4K for it, or market rate. I turn to your community because I know I can trust them. Not quite ready to purchase just yet b/c I still have to unload my 2012 Avenger R/T, but want to see what is available

Well, you heard the man! Get looking!