A Love Letter To The Girl I Photostalked This Morning

So. I'm on Instagram now. I'm reliably informed by Salon that the "cool kids" who joined Facebook in 2007 or so and then left for Twitter are now on Instagram, which means that they probably all left for something else, like Vine, about a year ago. Salon is only slightly less well-informed on current trends than the Saturday Evening Post. Anyway. I admire Instagram. It's the sleek, aerodynamic, stripped-down version of Facebook, ruthlessly optimized like a Great White shark for the single purpose of attention-whoring. The only reason to be on Instagram is to carpet-bomb your frenemies with what Kim Kardashian called "your best self, and amazing!"